What we focus on - Deepstash

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How to Create a Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life

What we focus on

Whatever we focus on effects our state and our state then effects the story we have about who we are, what’s life about, what’s possible and what’s not. 

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How you speak to yourself

It directly influences how you experience things in life.

Our words play an important part in shaping our existence, so if your internal self-talk is negative, your external exper...

Words and emotions

The words we attach to our experience become our experience. 

Words have a biochemical effect on the body. For example, if you use a word like “devastated,” you’re going to produce a very different biochemical effect than if you say, “I’m a bit disappointed.

Start with a small shift

Replace just one word that will transform the way you experience something “negative.” This is how you create a choice instead of a habitual reaction.

These small changes in your vocabulary give you the power to change your experiences in life by lowering the intensity of negative emotions to the point where they no longer control you.

What we regret

The regrets that bother us the most involve failing to live up to our “ideal selves.” 

We’re not as bothered by the mistakes we’ve made or the things we ought to have done as w...

The theory of the 3 selves
  • The actual self is what a person believes to be now, based on current attributes and abilities. 
  • The ideal self is comprised of the attributes and abilities a person would like to possess one day— goals, hopes, and aspirations. 
  • The ought self is who someone believes they should have been according to their obligations and responsibilities.
Regretting what we don't do

People regret their inactions more than their actions in the long term.

  • A mistake makes you feel a great deal of regret, but you get over it quickly because you most likely can fix it.
  • You can’t fix what was never done in the first place. Inaction, the utter lack of trying, is what will truly haunt you. 
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one's own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of oth...
Reduce Negative Emotions

... so they don't overwhelm you and affect your judgment. 

In order to change the way you feel about a situation, you must first change the way you think about it. 

Increased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for my dream job. I’ll be devastated if they don’t hire me.”
Decreased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for three exciting positions. If one doesn’t pan out, there are two more I’m well qualified for.”

Stay Cool and Manage Stress

How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. 

  • If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. 
  • If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself.