Getting to real love requires self-esteem, courage, acceptance, and assertiveness skills. It requires the ability to honestly speak up about our needs and wants, to share feelings, compromise, and resolve conflict.
It requires a commitment by both partners to get through the ordeal stage with mutual respect and a desire to make the relationship work.
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As romance and idealization fade, we enter the ordeal stage. We learn more things about our partner that displease us and discover habits and flaws we dislike and attitudes we believe to be ignorant or distasteful.
Two things can damage a relationship during this period.
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