Romanticism believes feelings rule - Deepstash

Romanticism believes feelings rule

For most of recorded history, people had fallen into relationships and married for logical pragmatic sorts of reasons.

Romanticism believes choosing a partner should be about letting oneself be guided by feelings, rather than practical considerations.

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MORE IDEAS FROM How Romantic Ideas Destroy Your Chance at Love

It tells us that marriage can have all the excitement of a love affair and the feelings of love should prevail over a life-time. 

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The salvation of love lies in overcoming a succession of errors within Romanticism.

  • Discussing money up-front is not a betrayal of love.
  • Realize that we are rather flawed, and our partner is too.
  • We will never find everything in another person, nor they in us.
  • We need to make efforts to understand one another.
  • Discussing practicalities are not trivial.

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... that true love end loneliness. It promised that the right partner would understand us fully without words.

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Romanticism

Romanticism emerged as an ideology in Europe in the mid-18th century in the minds of poets, artists and philosophers, and it has now conquered the world. 

It has permeated our culture with many assumptions about how couples are supposed to get together. It teaches us what to value, how to approach conflicts and what to get excited about.

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Romanticism has influenced us to dislike the idea of entering into a relationship for practical or financial reasons.

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Romanticism believes that true love should accept everything about someone.

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The cultural backdrop

For most of recorded history, people got married for logical pragmatic sorts of reasons.

Since around 1750, we have been living in an era in the history of love that we can call Romanticism where the marriage of reason was replaced with the marriage of feeling.

Love now unfolds against a cultural backdrop that subtly guides us as to where we should place our emotional emphases, what to value, how to approach conflicts, what to get excited about, when to tolerate, and what we can be legitimately incensed by.

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Our ideas of love

The differences in how people have loved throughout history suggest that our style of loving is to a significant extent determined by what the prevailing environment dictates.

It is through novels, poems, songs and, latterly, films that we have acquired our misleading ideas about love.

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Falling in love

To us, being loved in a relationship is perhaps the highest ideal. It gives our lives meaning and purpose. Being loved validates our sense of self-esteem and soothes our fears of loneliness.

Our brains are also wired to fall in love. Dopamine provides a natural high and ecstatic feeling that can be as addictive as cocaine. 

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