How Romantic Ideas Destroy Your Chance at Love
Curated from: time.com
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Romanticism
Romanticism emerged as an ideology in Europe in the mid-18th century in the minds of poets, artists and philosophers, and it has now conquered the world.
It has permeated our culture with many assumptions about how couples are supposed to get together. It teaches us what to value, how to approach conflicts and what to get excited about.
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Romanticism is deeply hopeful
It tells us that marriage can have all the excitement of a love affair and the feelings of love should prevail over a life-time.
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Romanticism proposes
... that true love end loneliness. It promised that the right partner would understand us fully without words.
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Romanticism believes feelings rule
For most of recorded history, people had fallen into relationships and married for logical pragmatic sorts of reasons.
Romanticism believes choosing a partner should be about letting oneself be guided by feelings, rather than practical considerations.
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Romanticism rejects practicalities
Romanticism has influenced us to dislike the idea of entering into a relationship for practical or financial reasons.
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Romanticism believes true love trumps all
Romanticism believes that true love should accept everything about someone.
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Romanticism has been a disaster for love
The salvation of love lies in overcoming a succession of errors within Romanticism.
- Discussing money up-front is not a betrayal of love.
- Realize that we are rather flawed, and our partner is too.
- We will never find everything in another person, nor they in us.
- We need to make efforts to understand one another.
- Discussing practicalities are not trivial.
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