Learn more about communication with this collection
How to align stakeholders
Best practices in product management leadership
How to create value together
The Feelings Layer
Feelings are at the centre of a difficult conversation. Ignoring emotions can cause resentment, anger, and broken relationships.
There are three steps to expressing feelings in difficult conversations.
- Get better at uncovering your feelings. Reframe feelings to something you experience, not who you are. You are not angry, you are experiencing anger. Question what is behind the emotion.
- Realise that you can negotiate with your feelings. Your feelings are caused by what you're thinking.
- Describe your feelings to your colleague without venting. "I felt that my opinions were not paid attention to."
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
The Identity Layer
In the identity conversation, you start to worry about what the conversation says about you.
Three core identity-related questions we think about:
- Am I competent?
- Am I a good person?
- Am I worthy of love?
You are more likely to ...
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Mastering difficult conversations
1. Start from the third-person perspective.
It helps you create distance to have a broader point of view and to express yourself more objectively.
2. Listen more intently
Use the SOAR framework
- Make...
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The "What happened" Layer
Conversations fall apart when we say, "I am right, and you are wrong." This is because we have more information about ourselves than we have about the other person. We know our intent, but we judge their intent based on their action. We also base our deduction on what suits our pre-conceived idea...
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A person’s success in life can be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.
TIM FERRISS
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Three layers of difficult conversations
- The "What happened" layer. What's the story here?
- The Feelings layer is uncovering how you really feel.
- The Identify layer ask what does this say about me?
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Managing difficult conversations
As a Product Manager, you are likely to face many difficult conversations, for example, stopping work that fails to align with top priorities, giving feedback, negotiating roadmaps, and apologising when you took your eye off the ball.
Mastering difficult conversations can g...
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CURATED FROM
Product Managers Can Use These Techniques To Master Difficult Work Conversations
medium.com
7 ideas
·2.64K reads
CURATED BY
"In fact, the confidence of the people is worth more than money." ~ Carter G. Woodson
Navigating difficult conversations is a skill that gives you Product Management superpowers. It can help you influence, negotiate and lead effectively.
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More like this
Choosing to deal with negative emotions
Ignoring feelings (like "stuffing your anger") is not the healthiest way to deal with them. generally speaking, that does not make them go away but can cause them to come out in different ways. That’s because your emotions act as signals to you that what you are doing in your life is or isn’t wor...
It keeps you from facing your feelings
Even if someone else's sitation is objectively "worse" than yours, it doesn't mean that you are not experiencing very real, very valid emotions.
You are allowed to feel upset when someone hurts you or disappointed when something doesn't work out the way that you wanted it to.
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