From Openness to Closing Yourself Off - Deepstash

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Overcoming a Fear of Vulnerability and Love Your Imperfections

From Openness to Closing Yourself Off

From a young age, we learn that not everyone is on our side, and not all situations are going to go our way. 

Over time, we build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves from these hurts.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Overcoming a Fear of Vulnerability and Love Your Imperfections

Overcoming a Fear of Vulnerability and Love Your Imperfections

https://www.verywellmind.com/fear-of-vulnerability-2671820

verywellmind.com

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Key Ideas

Protecting Yourself with Destructive Behavior

Building walls create a safe space into which you can quickly retreat, but it also leaves you trapped behind your own emotional defenses, unable to give or receive positive emotions as well as negative ones. 

This, in turn, leaves many people feeling isolated and alone.

From Protecting to Forgiving Yourself

The fear of vulnerability is ultimately a fear of rejection or abandonment. To combat it, you must first learn to love and accept yourself with all your flaws, embarrassing stories, past mistakes, insecurities and awkwardness.  

Realize that everyone feels like this, regardless of how successful they are.

Embracing Imperfection

We understand that people that we admire are imperfect, but don't find their flaws unforgivable. Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we beat ourselves up for our own imperfections.

Do not judge yourself more harshly than you judge them.

How to Love Yourself

  • Acknowledge yourself as a whole human being, flaws, imperfections and all. 
  • Own and embrace your past mistakes.
  • Apologize to anyone you feel you have significantly wronged, and then move on. 
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Stop trying to prove your value. You are important.

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Vulnerability

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Vulnerability is a part of life

We are vulnerable to viruses and accidents, misunderstandings and pain caused by our fears.

Meaningful social connections sustain us and lessen our overall weakness. When we are able to admit to our vulnerabilities, we free up energy because we no longer have to put effort into maintaining our buffers. 

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Emotional Regulation

It means having the skills to control your behavior, emotions and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals.

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Applying The Power Of Choice

You have to recognize that you have the choice in how you react to situations.

This will empower you to work with the challenges that you face in your life: you'll have clarity, focus and a purpose.

The STOPP Technique

... to control your emotions:

  • S – Stop
  • T – Take A Breath
  • O – Observe – your thoughts and feelings
  • P- Pull Back – put in some perspective – what is the bigger picture?
  • P – Practice What Works – Proceed – what is the best thing to do right now?

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Figure out your needs

People tend to feel badly about themselves when they feel powerless to get their needs met. 

Clarify for yourself what you need and don't expect others to fulfill your every want. 

Live authentically

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You have to start thinking about how you will communicate your needs, how you will start creating a life that meets your needs, and what you will do if people in your life can’t meet those needs.

Forgive yourself

Almost everyone has said something hurtful, forgotten an important event, or betrayed someone they love.

We have to remember that our mistakes do not define us. If we learn and grow from them, then they make us better people. Forgive yourself, and give yourself credit for trying not to make the same mistakes again.

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