• Parents do matter. But how they matter is complex and difficult to predict. 
• For any parent, stop blaming yourself. You are not that in control of your child's path. You have influence, but you don't have control. For anyone who has ever been a child...

Children are not just shaped by the power of parenting. Children are also shaped by forces like genes, peers, and the culture children grow up in.  This can make it difficult to know which forces influence who children become.

Children that are raised in the same house are not noticeably more alike in how successful they are or how happy or self-reliant they are.