Parents don't shape their children
Children that are raised in the same house are not noticeably more alike in how successful they are or how happy or self-reliant they are.
One child might find structure in the house helpful. Her sister might find it stifling. One child might think his parents are caring for asking questions. His brother might view it as nosy. But just because an event doesn't shape people in the same way doesn't mean it has no effect. Your parenting does shape your children, just not in ways that lead them to be the same.
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