Parents do matter. But how they matter is complex and difficult to predict.
For any parent, stop blaming yourself. You are not that in control of your child's path. You have influence, but you don't have control. For anyone who has ever been a child, stop blaming your parents. Stop blaming other parents.
Appreciate how powerful the moments can be because of what they mean for you and your child right now, not because of what they mean for your child in the long term.
We can be less sad if we are more realistic and let go of the idea that our children's futures are in our control.