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Act, but don’t ambush
When you let things build up, you’re more likely to act in an uncontrolled fashion at an inopportune time.
So, when your colleague says something mildly upsetting in a meeting, schedule some time to talk about it or discreetly approach them about it after some time has passed. That way you give yourself a chance to detach from your initial emotional response and to carefully think about what you want to say and how you’ll say it.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
True inquiry
True inquiry is a respectful way of testing whether something actually is a big deal and is entirely consistent with the notion of assuming positive intent. For example, try saying “Can you help me understand why you’re doing that?” or “Could you share your data or reasoning on this?”
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"It's no big deal"
When someone bothers or offends you, it’s natural to say, it’s no big deal and assumes the other person had positive intent. But, often, that phrase is used to avoid conflict and is a sign that you should take action.
Though speaking up can be difficult, it’s the only ...
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Treat “it’s no big deal” as a cue to take action
The problem may very well not be a big deal; if that’s the case, a calm conversation will take care of it. Similarly, if the person wasn’t being nefarious, simply naming the behavior that’s troubling you in respectful terms should allow the person to address it without a big blow up.
Well...
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The problem
When you don’t address something early on, there’s a good chance you’ll harbor negative emotional energy and become so upset that you eventually have a hard time being in the same room with person who “wronged” you, much less trusting them or feeling good about them.
Wors...
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Emotional responses
Not everything that triggers an emotional response requires a response. But if something is really no big deal, then you probably wouldn’t use this rationalization in the first place; you’d simply address it or ignore it.
So, learn to recognize this when it happe...
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CURATED FROM
CURATED BY
Spending a large amount of time with someone literally causes you to pick up their habits. Choose your friends wisely.
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Don’t Overthink It :
If you obsess over all the ways things can go wrong before you start a conversation with a stranger, you’re setting yourself up to fail. The more you think about it, the more anxious you’ll get. When you see someone you want to talk to, break the ice immediately before you have a chance to talk y...
Examine The Issue
Emotionally charged discussions are often rooted in deep-seated issues that will continue springing up if left alone. Carefully think about where, when, and how to reintroduce the subject, and do it once everyone's had the chance to cool down.
Opening with an apology, an expression of thank...
5. Examine The Issue
Emotionally charged discussions are often rooted in deep-seated issues that will continue springing up if left alone. Carefully think about where, when, and how to reintroduce the subject, and do it once everyone's had the chance to cool down.
Opening with an apology, an expression o...
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