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The Hidden Truth
We aren’t interested in perfect work at all: we are trying to escape from a feeling of being awful people, and work simply happens to be the medium through which we strive to grow tolerable in our own eyes. But because our problem didn’t begin with work, work can never prove the solution.
Our real goal is not, as we think, to be an ideal employee or professional, it is to feel acceptable. But responsibility for a sense of acceptance cannot be handed over to our bosses or customers or a ceaselessly demanding capitalist system; these will never let us rest easy.
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The Hidden Unworthiness
We become perfectionists from a primary sense of being unworthy; uninteresting, flawed, a disappointment, a let-down, a nuisance. So powerful is this sense, so appalling is its pressure on our psyches, we are prepared to do more or less anything to expunge it.
Working all hours, currying ...
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Get Real
We need to allow ourselves to imagine that we deserved to be accepted from the start and that it cannot forever be our fault in our minds that we were not. It is not up to us to try to prove that we have a right to exist. It is asking too much of ourselves to have to experience a referendum on ou...
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The Perfectionist
There is a kind of person who seems at first glance to have an admirable degree of self-motivation, thoroughness and drive. They are up at dawn, they rarely take holidays, they are always sneaking in an extra hour or two of work.
Their bosses are highly impressed, they are constantly prom...
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The Problem With Perfectionism
Perfectionism, tragically, does not spring primarily from a love of perfection in and of itself. It has its origins in far more regrettable feeling of never being good enough.
It is rooted in self-hatred, sparked by memories of being disapproved of or neglected by those who should have es...
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Career rejectionists
Their guiding questions are simple. What if work didn’t make you feel awful? What would life be like if we didn’t live to work? What do workers and employers actually owe each other? What if we structured our work lives around a different idea of success?
It’s not a full-scale re...
Giving The Impression That We Have An Awesome Job
We have additional pressure towards the kind of work we do, a psychological drive to be powerful, well-known (to people we do not know ourselves) and impressive to others.
The pressures of society and the constant need to prove oneself restrict our every move, and we cannot be truly f...
Reasons We Play The Blame Game
- Blame is a good defense mechanism and protects your self-esteem by avoiding awareness of your own failings.
- Blame is a tool of attack that can hurt others and a destructive conflict resolution method.
- We’re bad at analyzing people's behavior, or even our own. The attributions...
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