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Are You Living a Life of Endless Excuses? Here's How to Stop!

The Fear Trap

We make excuses for the following key reasons:

  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Embarrassment
  • Fear of Success
  • Fear of Change
  • Fear of Uncertainty
  • Fear of Responsibility
  • Fear of Making Mistakes
  • Perceived lack of confidence or resources
To successfully eliminate excuses we must first consider removing all traces of fear. Fear paralyzes us and prevents forward movement in all areas of our lives.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Are You Living a Life of Endless Excuses? Here's How to Stop!

Are You Living a Life of Endless Excuses? Here's How to Stop!

https://blog.iqmatrix.com/a-life-of-excuses

blog.iqmatrix.com

13

Key Ideas

Defining excuses

Excuses are rationalizations we make to ourselves about people, events, and circumstances. 

They are invented reasons we create to defend our behavior, to postpone taking action or simply as a means of neglecting responsibility.

The Fear Trap

We make excuses for the following key reasons:

  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Embarrassment
  • Fear of Success
  • Fear of Change
  • Fear of Uncertainty
  • Fear of Responsibility
  • Fear of Making Mistakes
  • Perceived lack of confidence or resources
To successfully eliminate excuses we must first consider removing all traces of fear. Fear paralyzes us and prevents forward movement in all areas of our lives.

'There’s just not enough time'

This excuse means a lack of desire, focus, discipline, and direction.
It suggests the wrong priorities or time management problems. It could also indicate laziness or procrastination.

'Not enough money'

This excuse means that you don’t consider money to be a priority or that you lack the desire, determination, persistence or patience needed to achieve financial security. You might be lacking strategy or ideas to help you reach your financial objectives.
Commit to reading books about improving your finances or get a mentor.

'I don’t have an education'

This excuse means that you lack creativity, inspiration, and desire. 
You could also lack a willingness to work harder to achieve your goals.

'I’m just too old/too young...'

This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence or perspective.

It might be more difficult but persist and challenge yourself to think outside the box. Learn from your failures and adapt accordingly.

'I don’t know how'

This excuse means that you lack confidence in your ability to achieve your goal.

It also means you haven’t taken the time to gain the experience or education to understand what is required.

To combat this, read books, gain experience or ask for help. 

'I just can’t change'

This excuse shows that you might lack motivation and a reason to change. We are always pulled forward by the desire for pleasure or pushed forward by the desire to avoid pain. 

Write down the potential benefits as well as the negative consequences for not making the change.

'I’m afraid to fail'

This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence, knowledge, and experience.

Commit yourself to gain the knowledge and understanding about the thing you fear, to build the confidence you need to move forward.

'It’s not the right time'

It could be a lame excuse that means you lack perspective, information, and the necessary resources.

Make it a primary objective to acquire the necessary resources you need to help transform your perspective and achieve your goals.

'I have to plan thoroughly first'

This excuse shows you’re either lacking perspective, or you’re paralyzed by fear.

Identify the underlying fears that are preventing you from moving forward.

'It just won’t work'

This excuse shows you lack self-belief, motivation, creativity, patience, perspective, or the determination you need to succeed.

All these qualities are essential for everything of value that you would like to build in your life.

'I’m just not inspired'

This excuse means you’ve got poor habits that lead to a lack of self-discipline. Consider what kind of habits, routines and daily rituals you partake in throughout the day.

For instance, a lack of sleep could be the reason why you’re feeling so tired and lack inspiration.

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Stop comparing

When you are comparing yourself to others, you are probably only seeing part of the whole picture.

If you are making an excuse not to try something new, because you are comparing yourself to others who are experts in the field, remember that they were also inexperienced at some stage.

Stop fearing the unknown

The unknown can be scary, but it may not be a negative thing. Many good things can come from taking a step into the unknown.

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Fear of rejection

The main reason why we are having a hard time declining other people's requests is that we are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid that people might think negatively. 

Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
  • Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
  • Knowing Your Value:  Learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.
  • Is It Really Worth It?: Learning to say no is also deciding if saying yes is really worth it. Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn't it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?
Helpful Tips for Saying No
  • Be direct.
  • Don't apologize and give all sorts of reasons.
  • Be honest.
  • Don't delay your response.
  • Be polite.
  • Practice saying no. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
  • Know your worth. Don't mind what other think of you.
Hal Elrod

“The moment you take personal responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in..."

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The victim mindset

It happens when we focus on how you believe other people are doing you wrong or what you think they are doing to cause you pain. It means focusing on other people's flaws and how you feel mistreated.
This fuels feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair.

Looking in the right direction

How someone else treats you is outside your control.
But noticing who or what you are exposing yourself to is within your control. And so you should focus on that.

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Excuse-making

It's a defense mechanism you use in the battle between your positive self-identity and the common challenges of everyday life.

This habit comes down to an inherent need to protect your...

The self-serving bias

It encourages you to claim your successes and to deflect your failures.

When something good happens, you take the credit, but when something bad happens, you blame it on something out of your control.

Common types of excuses
  • Lies: This is one of the worst types of excuses—a straight-up lie.
  • Self-handicapping excuses: Such as “I don’t have the skills to do that”, or “That’s not my job.”
  • Blame-shifting excuses: Instead of putting the blame on your lack of abilities, you accuse external factors for your missteps or lack of performance.

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Develop The Habit Of Thinking Big

... by trial and error and consistently analyzing things related to big ideas, until you've practiced enough your brain can easily establish unusual correlati...

Think Like a Child

The key to shifting your perspective and developing the habit of thinking big involves stepping outside of yourself and into another persona — essentially becoming someone who will help you see things bigger, better and more creatively.

You must also think from the perspective of having no limitations or fears and ask big questions persistently until the right answer comes to mind.

Barriers To Thinking Big
  • Limiting habits: procrastination, immediatism, negative thinking, making excuses, solving insignificant problems, over-analyzing, perfectionism.
  • People criticize and judge the unknown and big ideas are often so.
  • Fears of failure and the unknown restrict us to small thoughts, decisions, and actions. 
  • Lack of time turns us into small thinkers and immediatists. 
  • Lack of incentives robs you of the motivation to stretch yourself emotionally or physically. 

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Kyle Cease

“Distractions are by-products of a problem. Something outside of you is pulling you away from yourself or a goal.”..."

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Temptations and Interruptions

Distractions can be either:

  • Temptations: When we take a break from work to check social media
  • Interruptions: When we get annoyed or repeated emails disrupting our workflow.

While we can deal with these external problems, what can be more challenging is our internal urge to be distracted.

Covering Our Fears

Distractions are a way to mask what we are fearful of. Fear is a deception that comes from looking at something you’ve never done. It’s simply how your brain works — it believes anything could be death and everything you’ve already done has proven itself to be safe. Embracing fear makes it lose the grip on us.

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A career without passion

While some people have a clear calling from an early age, many spend their whole careers without having ever discovered their passion.

The most basic foundation of passion is an intense interest in what you're doing.

Mindsets
Some people tend to see their abilities as fixed, that you either have a talent for something or you don't. Others have a growth mindset where they believe that abilities can change over time.

These mindsets determine how we face challenges: We either give up when we are faced with difficulties or we persevere knowing that we will improve over time.

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Real success happens when we focus on one thing at a time

Most of us believe that success happens all at once. Real life is different. Success is sequential, not simultaneous.

Success Adds Up

Things add up. You learn one skill. Then another. You finish one project. Then another. Over time, your accomplishments add up to form an impressive feat.

You can achieve big things with small actions, that build up over time
You don’t build a strong body in a day, month, or even a year. It takes years of consistent effort. Shortcuts don’t exist, no matter how ‘smart’ you work.
Ask "Is This True?"

An excuse is often masking the real, but hidden reason you're avoiding doing something.

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Reflect On Your Excuses

At the end of each day, take a few minutes to look back on the excuses made that day, and try to figure out why you made them. 

Look for better ways to approach them.

Find People To Call You Out

Surround yourself with people who will hold you responsible for your excuses. 

Find someone who will check in on you each day to ensure you met your goals.

Take a Shower

Anecdotal evidence links shower to creativity.

So maybe when the status quo response to some circumstance just isn’t working, try taking a shower.

Study Another Industry

Pick some media from different industries. You may find that other industries have problems similar to yours but maybe they were solved in a different way.

You may also find new linkages between your own industry and another, linkages that may lead to innovative partnerships in the future.

Learn About Other Religions

Religions are a way for us to understand our relationships with the supernatural and with each other. Learning how such relations are structured can teach you a lot about how people relate to each other and the world around them.

Seeing the reason in other religions can also help you develop mental flexibility.

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