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Are You Living a Life of Endless Excuses? Here's How to Stop!
The Fear Trap
We make excuses for the following key reasons:
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Embarrassment
- Fear of Success
- Fear of Change
- Fear of Uncertainty
- Fear of Responsibility
- Fear of Making Mistakes
- Perceived lack of confidence or resources
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Defining excuses
Excuses are rationalizations we make to ourselves about people, events, and circumstances.
They are invented reasons we create to defend our behavior, to postpone taking action or simply as a means of neglecting responsibility.
The Fear Trap
We make excuses for the following key reasons:
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Embarrassment
- Fear of Success
- Fear of Change
- Fear of Uncertainty
- Fear of Responsibility
- Fear of Making Mistakes
- Perceived lack of confidence or resources
'There’s just not enough time'
It suggests the wrong priorities or time management problems. It could also indicate laziness or procrastination.
'Not enough money'
Commit to reading books about improving your finances or get a mentor.
'I don’t have an education'
You could also lack a willingness to work harder to achieve your goals.
'I’m just too old/too young...'
This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence or perspective.
It might be more difficult but persist and challenge yourself to think outside the box. Learn from your failures and adapt accordingly.
'I don’t know how'
This excuse means that you lack confidence in your ability to achieve your goal.
It also means you haven’t taken the time to gain the experience or education to understand what is required.
To combat this, read books, gain experience or ask for help.
'I just can’t change'
This excuse shows that you might lack motivation and a reason to change. We are always pulled forward by the desire for pleasure or pushed forward by the desire to avoid pain.
Write down the potential benefits as well as the negative consequences for not making the change.
'I’m afraid to fail'
This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence, knowledge, and experience.
Commit yourself to gain the knowledge and understanding about the thing you fear, to build the confidence you need to move forward.
'It’s not the right time'
It could be a lame excuse that means you lack perspective, information, and the necessary resources.
Make it a primary objective to acquire the necessary resources you need to help transform your perspective and achieve your goals.
'I have to plan thoroughly first'
This excuse shows you’re either lacking perspective, or you’re paralyzed by fear.
Identify the underlying fears that are preventing you from moving forward.
'It just won’t work'
This excuse shows you lack self-belief, motivation, creativity, patience, perspective, or the determination you need to succeed.
All these qualities are essential for everything of value that you would like to build in your life.
'I’m just not inspired'
This excuse means you’ve got poor habits that lead to a lack of self-discipline. Consider what kind of habits, routines and daily rituals you partake in throughout the day.
For instance, a lack of sleep could be the reason why you’re feeling so tired and lack inspiration.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
14
Key Ideas
Excuses
People use excuses to rationalize their actions regarding their circumstances, their actions toward other people, and regarding certain events. It is also one of the primary reasons why people are ...
Stop comparing
When you are comparing yourself to others, you are probably only seeing part of the whole picture.
If you are making an excuse not to try something new, because you are comparing yourself to others who are experts in the field, remember that they were also inexperienced at some stage.
Stop fearing the unknown
The unknown can be scary, but it may not be a negative thing. Many good things can come from taking a step into the unknown.
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Key Ideas
Fear of rejection
The main reason why we are having a hard time declining other people's requests is that we are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid that people might think negatively.
Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
- Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
- Knowing Your Value: Learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.
- Is It Really Worth It?: Learning to say no is also deciding if saying yes is really worth it. Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn't it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?
Helpful Tips for Saying No
- Be direct.
- Don't apologize and give all sorts of reasons.
- Be honest.
- Don't delay your response.
- Be polite.
- Practice saying no. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
- Know your worth. Don't mind what other think of you.
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Key Ideas
“The moment you take personal responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in..."
Hal Elrod
The victim mindset
It happens when we focus on how you believe other people are doing you wrong or what you think they are doing to cause you pain. It means focusing on other people's flaws and how you feel mistreated.
This fuels feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair.
Looking in the right direction
How someone else treats you is outside your control.
But noticing who or what you are exposing yourself to is within your control. And so you should focus on that.
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