Stay positive

The primary factor in resilience is having supportive relationships, inside and outside the family. 

Close friends, family and loved ones represent our social support; they encourage and motivate us, and let us know that we aren’t alone.

The way we view a potentially stressful situation can either make the crisis worse in our mind or minimize it. 

Reframing things in a more positive way can alter our perceptions and relieve our stressful feelings.

Self-destructive behaviors can become habits and can continually undermine your success and happiness.

Self-sabotage is when we want something, but somehow we never accomplish it, because somewhere deep in our subconscious we’re fighting against that goal:

• Our disorganization distracts us.
• We’re constantly overthinking all of our decisions.

• Procrastination. Start setting deadlines and mini-deadlines to work toward your objective.
• Negative self-talk/negative thinking. Be patient with yourself; be kind to yourself. Work to build yourself up.
• Perfectionism. It is an impossible standard that keeps you from moving forward.

• “Good stress”: which psychologists refer to as “eustress,” is the stress we feel when we’re excited about something.
• Acute stress: when something surprises us or catches us off guard. Acute stress is the body’s response to ensure you react and take measures to deal with the unexpected situation. It has no lasting negative effects if we deal with it quickly and move on.

Resilience is how we deal with stress effectively so we “bounce back” after a difficult time.

As we deal with issues that cause tension and strain, we learn to face adversity, deal with significant issues and overcome problems. We learn how to formulate realistic plans and carry them out.

• Be wary of fear and spot it as soon as it begins to surface.
• Stay positive. 
• Know what you know—and what you don’t.
• Embrace that which you can’t control. 
• Focus only on what matters. 
• Don’t seek perfection - it leaves you lamenting what you failed to accomplish instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.
• Don’t dwell on problems. Rather focus on actions to better yourself.
• Recognize when you are overly influenced by your assumptions and emotions or by another person’s opinion.
• Have a contingency plan without asking "What if?"

Walking away from an anxiety inducing situation can be very effective. Taking some time to focus on your body and not your mind may help relieve your anxiety.

Writing down what’s making you anxious gets it out of your head and can make it less daunting.

According to research, when we connect with friends, we can handle stress better.

According to a study, spending time in nature, or even just looking at scenes of nature, may help you recover faster from subsequent stressful experiences.

• They savor the moment. They "stop to smell the roses".
• They're busy, but not rushed. A healthy work-life balance is key.
•  They don't sweat the small stuff. They focus only of what is important and within their control.

• They spend money on others. One reason is that it creates social connections.
• They celebrate other people's success through "active and constructive" responding.
• They treat everyone with respect and kindness. Kindness, like happiness, is contagious.
• They're proactive about relationships. They work on maintaining their relationships.
• They express gratitude. It improves mood and energy and decreases anxiety.
• They engage in deep, meaningful conversations.

Break the problems into workable pieces. Ask yourself how you can manage each piece.

Every crisis presents opportunities for growth. Think how someone else you admire might handle the situation.

How can your crises shape you for the better?

People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude.

Avoid this by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. 

Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos -- only the facts.

The ability to perceive setbacks as temporary and solvable.

Instead of viewing stress as a sign of failure or as a threat, you can choose to look for the challenge within it or the lesson to be learned.

Finding meaning within chaos is a core component of resilient leadership.

Resilient people take the time to understand what they’re feeling, even if it’s uncomfortable.

To manage your emotions effectively, you must learn to express yourself clearly, assertively, and with empathy for others.