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How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

Seek to understand first

Stepping into the other person’s perspective is not about dismissing your feelings or compromising your values and principles. 

It helps you to communicate in a language the other person will understand.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

https://www.lifehack.org/819319/how-to-be-assertive

lifehack.org

6

Key Ideas

Learning to be assertive

Being assertive means learning to manage your energy, plan your approach and craft your message in a way that maximizes potential for the other person, to be open to receiving and accepting it.

Acknowledge and don't react

  1. Make it known you noticed that underhanded insinuation by pausing and directing your attention to it.
  2. Calmly state you will revisit what they said, the action they took or the decision they made at another point. And you don’t ask it as a question; you make a statement.

Pause and reflect to gain clarity

Give yourself space to come to terms with what you experienced before being able to consider what action to take next.

Get clear on your values. It’s important that you understand within yourself first, the nature and reason behind the battle you choose to fight.

Seek to understand first

Stepping into the other person’s perspective is not about dismissing your feelings or compromising your values and principles. 

It helps you to communicate in a language the other person will understand.

Agree to disagree

Being assertive Is about boundary setting, not winning.

Part of being assertive is stating your boundaries and illustrating very clearly (with examples) the line the other parties should not cross. 

Construct your argument well

  • Choose your timing wisely
  • Be prepared to have examples and stories, to give a stronger, clearer message
  • Avoid placing blame
  • Stick with the facts and describe the emotional and impact upon you with diplomacy.

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Offering value

Effective persistence should always be based on providing incremental value.

From your conversation, you may have gathered insights on something that is important to the other persons, such as family, projects, or key interests. Offer an introduction or invite them to an event of importance.

Valuing time

No one is interested in an elaborate saga. Instead, ask a short, clear question on a subject in which the other person has expertise. They'll often be glad to help.

Follow up on an agreed time. If they tell you they’ll be busy until the fall, then don’t send them another message on July 31st. Wait until autumn starts and then send a polite note.

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Be open to feedback and criticism

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