What if you want to mentor, but people don’t ask? - Deepstash

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What if you want to mentor, but people don’t ask?

Sometimes, you see someone that you think has potential, but they’re not where they ought to be and they aren’t seeking advice. You could approach them – tell them you think they have potential and offer to mentor them.

If your company has a formal mentoring program, you could sign up. If they don’t, you could invite people to come to you. That doesn’t have to be a formal declaration “hey, if anyone wants to work with me as a mentor, let me know ”. It could be as simple as announcing office hours for anyone who wants to talk and seeing what happens.




I’ve found that these conversations fall into three broad categories, ranging from the strategic to the tactical:

Faced with the question “what should I do?" , tell a personal story instead.

Mentoring and coaching activities look similar, but the impetus is different. In mentoring relationships, usually the mentee sets the agenda. In a coaching relationship, usually the coach sets the agenda. Coaching also tends to be more formal and more transactional. (People hire...

There’s one take away I’d like you to have: mentoring is about listening. Resist the temptation to offer unsolicited advice. Listen to what they’re asking about. Goals? Situations? Or skills? Then listen (or observe) before sharing your questions, stories, or feedback.

To help someone understand their goals, ask questions that help them reflect on their current situation, consider potential futures, and chart a course from one to another.

One way to think about the distinction is whether there are direct consequences to following or ignoring advice. Mentors advise; coaches assess. This is one reason why people often seek mentors outside the management chain. It’s hard to trust a manager to separate these two roles...

First, you have to observe the mentee’s activities or output. For coding skills, code review or pair programming would work. For communication skills, sit it on a meeting they expect to actively participate in or watch them practice a presentation. For technical writing, read what they’ve written...

Let them take the lead without being prescriptive. You can still be sounding board for their ideas and help them wargame an approach to what they’re dealing with. Even without a story to guide them, having someone in their corner is valuable support.

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