DEBRA FINE

Party prep should involve what you wear. Pick a tried-and-true outfit — whatever taps you into the best version of yourself, as opposed to something that makes you feel self-conscious or that you’ll be constantly adjusting.

Some people like to choose a great blouse or jacket or neckla...

There’s the sense that we should arrive fashionably late and with a posse of friends, but in fact, the very best time to get there is right when the party starts — before everyone is ensconced in conversations and you find yourself in the position of having to work your way into established group...

Say you forget a name, or introduce yourself anew to someone you’ve already met, or spill your drink all over your host’s white carpeting?

Admit the predicament, apologize with sincerity and move on.

There are steps you can take to make arriving at a party less stressful and more fulfilling.

One of the issues with parties, unless you’re the most gregarious of extroverts, is that feeling when you’re about to walk into one but don’t know a single person there. Or perhaps you’re only vag...

Although Americans tend to put down small talk as if it’s superficial, it’s actually very important.

It’s about negotiating relationships, as sometimes it leads to an ongoing relationship or even a romantic relationship. You hear, ‘We were at this party, the next thing we knew, we were tal...

You can use the white flag, as in car racing, to indicate “they have one more lap and then it’s over."

Acknowledge what you’ve heard — “Gosh, it sounds like you really have a passion for skiing,” and then give someone a warning that the conversation is almost over. For exa...

You're the hit of the party, and you've charmed your way into the hearts of all. Now stick the landing.

While you don’t want to make a big interruption, you should acknowledge the departure and thank your host. There are, of course, always exceptions, and you could follow up after...

Being a party guest is easy. Being a great party guest takes work.

• Tier one is safe territory: sports, the weather, pop culture, local celebrities and any immediate shared experience.
• Tier two is potentially controversial: religion,...

Before partying, ask yourself if you might have that feeling in this situation, and think about how you can prepare for that. (Having an extroverted pal along, or conversational topics to rely on, can help ease the pressure.)

Just because you tend toward introversion doesn’t mean you can’t...

Don't let the fear of missing out get you after you exit a party.

It’s just one party. There’s always another one around the corner. Reward yourself with Netflix or a bath or a pizza and the simple satisfaction that you survived. And maybe you even had fun, too?

Phones complicate the equation, even though they feel like an escape.

You’re not making eye contact or noticing how people in the room are feeling, and you’re probably missing out on some really good conversations by staring at your screen, which you can do all you want when you get home. A...

If you feel intensely awkward about standing in the middle of the room and smiling, or actually approaching someone else — this really does work, the experts say, though it also sounds terrifying — you have alternatives. One thing that is really powerful is to have a job.

I...

Getting past the initial hellos can itself be a juggernaut. Do you hug, shake hands or kiss on one cheek, or both, or three times, in the European style? What if you hate being touched? 

If something makes you uncomfortable, however, you can let the other person know by saying politely, “I’...

Take a moment to identify, realistically, what your purpose is for going. Is it:

• To make a business connection?
• To meet a new friend?
• To relax?
• To have a good conversation?
• To taste some new food or wine?

• Keep up your posture.
• Make eye contact
• Open your body isn't of sitting cross-armed.
• Smile.

There’s a difference between being an introvert and having social anxiety. Introverts are a little quieter than the general population and feel it requires a lot of energy to keep a conversation going at a party.

Social anxiety, on the other hand, is a learned behavior often stemming from...

It’s time to start meeting your fellow partygoers and impressing them with your warm and witty repartee. But how do you do that?

You’ve arrived on time, by yourself or not, with a gift in hand or simply your presence as your present. You know what you want to accomplish, and you have conve...

Don’t head to a party with the intent of leaving everyone in stitches, unless perhaps you’re a professional comedian. Instead, Channel your inner Oprah. This is especially helpful advice for introverts.

Talking about yourself triggers the sa...

Mingling is an art, but remember what you're here for: to have fun and meet people.

You’re trapped in a conversation with a monologuer and you’re racking your brain trying to escape.

There are ways to excuse yourself. Say, ‘Oh, I just saw someone I haven’t seen in 10 years, it’s been ...

One huge conversational mistake is not picking up clues about how other people are reacting to you. But keep in mind, we all have different conversational styles.

Be attuned to the signals others are sending. Some cultures have a high-involvement style, which means standing closer and offer...

You could ask a question:

• What do you do?
• Been to any concerts lately?
• Do you like that beer?
• Did you take the train here?

Or give a compliment:

• I like your hair.
• That’s a cool shirt....

Whatever you do, _do _say hello, and be genuine.

If you’re the type who walks into a room and you don’t know what to say and you don’t say hello, never think they’re going to give you the benefit of the doubt. They’re going to think you’re avoiding them or a snob.

If you don’t re...

The classic rule is to show up with something in hand. Nowadays, however, you don’t always need to show up with something for your good friends. If you feel more comfortable arriving with a bottle of wine or a token of your appreciation, by all means, go for it.

Remember that conver...

One way to avoid them is to “assume the burden of the conversation,” One might use self-disclosure to change the topic, and say, ‘Golf isn’t my thing, but I really like to cycle.’ Or, if someone asks about something sad or bad, throw the conversational ball back and say, ‘I just can’t talk about ...