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7 Powerful Mindsets of Confident People
Never confuse memory with facts
Your brain has a built-in confirmation bias. That means it stores information that is consistent with your own beliefs, values and self-image. This selective memory system helps keep the brain from getting overloaded.
Revisit your self-limiting beliefs. Try to gain a more accurate perspective on the event by talking with others that might have a different perspective.
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Key Ideas
Rejection is normal
It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little ...
It’s okay to feel pain
When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt.
We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.
It’s not (totally) your fault
Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you.
But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual compatibility. Keep in mind that likability has a lot to do with what you bring to someone else’s table, whether or not you realize it.
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Key Ideas
The Impostor Syndrome
It is the feeling that you are not worthy of your designation, title, position or success.
Your accomplishments may be due to luck or effort, but you feel you lack the talent or skill ...
The Reality of Impostor Syndrome
- The impostor syndrome is like a nagging feeling that our success might be due to luck, good timing, or even a computer error.
- It makes us think we have done nothing, and that we secretly are a fraud for taking undue credit.
- The person suffering from an impostor syndrome lives in fear that soon the 'secret' about his true nature will be uncovered.
The Impostor Syndrome: Self-Efficacy Is The Antidote
The antidote to the impostor syndrome is self-efficacy, which is about learning one's own value.
Self-efficacy is described as a perceived ability to succeed at a particular task. It means having rock-solid confidence, a supercharged belief in your ability.
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Key Ideas
Common errors when reading people
- Ignoring context: Crossed arms don’t mean much if the room is cold or the chair they’re sitting in doesn’t have armrests.
- Not looking for clusters: It’s a consisten...
Trusting your instincts
Your first impressions are usually pretty accurate. But whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them.
You have to be willing to update them quite rapidly.
Reading first impressions
- Studies show that if someone seems extroverted, confident, religious or conscientious, they probably are.
- We all pay more attention to pretty people, and so we tend to take the time to evaluate them.
- If you want to know if someone is good at their job, watch them do it for 30-60 seconds.
- Funny people are smart: Effective humor production acts as an honest indicator of intelligence in humans.