Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.

Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur.

empty-shell marriage

Making a long-term relationship work is a difﬁcult business because it requires the capacity to strike a balance between individualism (the “I”) and togetherness (the “we”).

"...the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self."

the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self

Rather, I speak here of “response-ability”—that is, the ability to observe ourselves and others in interaction and to respond to a familiar situation in a new and different way.

The Dance of Anger is a book any woman should read to change the patterns of their toxic relationship.

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception."Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

HARIET LERNER

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