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The Dance of Anger is a book any woman should read to change the patterns of their toxic relationship.

Dance of Anger

Dance of Anger

by Harriet Lerner

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HARIET LERNER

"...the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self."

HARIET LERNER

Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur.

HARIET LERNER

Rather, I speak here of “response-ability”—that is, the ability to observe ourselves and others in interaction and to respond to a familiar situation in a new and different way.

HARIET LERNER

Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.

HARIET LERNER

Making a long-term relationship work is a difficult business because it requires the capacity to strike a balance between individualism (the “I”) and togetherness (the “we”).

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