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The Dance of Anger is a book any woman should read to change the patterns of their toxic relationship.
by Harriet Lerner
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Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur.
Rather, I speak here of “response-ability”—that is, the ability to observe ourselves and others in interaction and to respond to a familiar situation in a new and different way.
Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
Making a long-term relationship work is a difficult business because it requires the capacity to strike a balance between individualism (the “I”) and togetherness (the “we”).
empty-shell marriage
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