Examine your rights and needs - Deepstash

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The No BS Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Real Life

Examine your rights and needs

  • Once you identify your rights and choose to believe in them, you’ll find honoring them easier. For example, I have a right to be treated with respect. 
  • Check-in with your body (heart rate, sweating, tightness in the chest, clenched fists) to understand what you can handle and where the boundary should be drawn.
  • Identify 10 important values. Then narrow that list to three. To understand if you have strong and healthy boundaries, reflect on how often those 3 are challenged.

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You Have A Boundary Issue If…
  • you feel like people take advantage of you or use your emotions for their own gain.
  • you feel like you’re constantly having to “save” people close to you and fix their problems all the ...
Personal Boundaries

Having healthy personal boundaries means taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT blaming others.

People with high self-esteem have strong personal boundaries. And practicing strong personal boundaries is one way to build self-esteem.

Poor Boundaries 

People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.

People who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions are always looking to save someone.

Predictably, these two types of people are drawn strongly to one another, yet completely fail to meet each other's true need to feel loved. The real solution would be for both to take responsibility for their own problems.

Name your limits

You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where your limits are.

Identify what you can permit and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.

Tune into your feelings

There are two key feelings that are red flags that you are letting go of your boundaries.

  • Discomfort. Ask yourself what is causing the discomfort.
  • Resentment. Resentment usually comes from being taken advantage of or not appreciated.
Be direct

With some people, maintaining healthy boundaries doesn’t require a direct and clear-cut dialogue.

There are other times you might need to be frank, such as with those who have a different personality or cultural background.

Learning to set healthy personal boundaries
  • Know that you have a right to personal boundaries.
  • Recognize that other people's needs and feelings are not more important than your own.
  • Learn to say no.
  • I...