The No BS Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Real Life

Our boundaries are shaped by

• our heritage or culture
• the region we live in or come from
• whether we’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between
• our life experiences
• our family dynamics

• Once you identify your rights and choose to believe in them, you’ll find honoring them easier. For example, I have a right to be treated with respect. 
• Check-in with your body (heart rate, sweating, tightness in the chest, clenched fists) to understand what you can handle and where the boundary should be drawn.

• Identify 10 important values. Then narrow that list to three. To understand if you have strong and healthy boundaries, reflect on how often those 3 are challenged.

How to draw your lines with confidence.

• Be assertive. Assertive language is clear and non-negotiable, without blaming or threatening the receiver. Be assertive using "I statements."
• Learn to say no. You can say no without an explanation and without providing any emotional labor to the person you’re saying it to.
• Safeguard your spaces. For example, use the Do Not Disturb feature on your phone and other devices.

• Watch for cues. Possible hints someone might want more space: avoiding eye contact, limited conversation response, turning away or sideways.
• Be inclusive of neurodiverse behaviors. These are people who live with autism, are on the spectrum, or who have other developmental disabilities. Their social cues may be different from the norm.
• Ask. You can inquire if a hug is OK or if you can ask a personal question.