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Eight Reasons Why It's So Hard To Really Change Your Behavior
More Than We Can Handle
It’s almost never possible to tackle all of a change at once. We have to start with particular, very specific and measurable actions.
Each specific action is one forkful of behavior change and a set of those actions engaged over time results in a cumulative change. And accompanying those cumulative actions, we need realistic and specific goals as they provide targets to measure ourselves against.
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Key Ideas
The Dynamics of a Resolution
We all have goals to achieve and behavioral changes we want to implement. Making the resolution is the easy part. The implementation and the work that is to be put in daily is the real challenge.
Why Resolutions Fail
- Getting motivated by negative emotions like fear or regret.
- A sudden influx of motivation followed by giving up in the first instance of a setback ("All or Nothing" approach).
- Having a big and unattainable resolution.
- Not being in terms with the concept of failure.
- Not committing fully to the process.
Social Pressure
New research suggests we are less prone to keep working on our goals after we publicize them. This is because we may end up talking about our goals and celebrating our success prematurely rather than implementing them.
Social Pressure makes us fearful, as we can feel afraid of appearing inept. This negative mindset does not work well where we need daily work.
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Key Ideas
Pre-Contemplation
In this stage of change, individuals are aware of the behavioral change they desire; however, they have no conscious intention of altering their behavior. They may be strongly influenced by pressure from others who are aware of their problems.
Instilling motivation towards change within is key in this stage. This can be done by educating oneself on the behavioral change that is up for debate.
Contemplation
In this stage of change, an individual acknowledges the problem and begins an internal debate about pursuing change. A lot of time may be spent in this stage as many may not be ready to commit to changing.
People often get stuck in this stage going back and forth between measuring the benefits and costs of behavioral change. A thorough cost-benefit analysis followed by a troubleshooting session can be helpful here, especially if it is done in written form.
Preparation
In this stage of change, individuals commit to the intention of changing in the immediate future and have accepted the costs and benefits. What determines the success of an individual in this stage is their commitment to exploring, planning and insuring.
Set up contracts with yourself, by setting specific measurable goals, and detailing how you will accomplish the task at hand, including contingencies in order to stay on track.
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Key Ideas
About change
Organizations don’t change. People change. Many companies move to change systems and structures and create new policies and processes but fail to address the underlying mind-sets and capabilities of the people who will execute it.
A new strategy will fall short of its potential if they fail to address the mental attitude because people on the ground tend to continue to behave as they did before.
Looking both ways
Companies that only look outward in the process of organizational change, and dismiss individual learning and adaptation make two common mistakes:
- They focus solely on business outcomes and fail to appreciate that people will have to adapt to implement it.
- They focus too much on developing skills.