"Don’t" vs "Can’t" - Deepstash

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"Don’t" vs "Can’t"

By classifying specific behaviors as things you will never do again, you put certain actions into the realm of “I don’t” versus “I can’t.”

Saying “I don’t” rather than “I can’t” provides greater “psychological empowerment.”

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Starting vs breaking bad habits

The process of stopping bad habits is fundamentally different from forming new ones.

  • Creating a habit requires encoding a new set of automatic behaviors: the brain learns causal relationships between triggers that prompt action and the associated outcome.
  • The popular belief is that the key to breaking a bad habit is replacing it with another habit. But this doesn't always work.

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Kicking a bad habit

  • Identify the behavior you want to stop: e.g, not eating processed sugar. 
  • Choose one specific food to cut from your diet. It needs to be something you wouldn’t miss.
  • Diets don’t work because they are temporary fixes. To become part of your identity, the commitment needs to be forever.
  • Write down what you no longer eat and the date you gave it up. Writing this down marks the shift from a temporary “can’t” to a permanent “don’t.” 
  • If the commitment feels like too much, you’re doing too much. 

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Progressive extremism

The process of “progressive extremism” utilizes what we know about the psychology of identity to help stop behaviors we don’t want. It works particularly well in situations in which substituting one habit for another just won’t do.

Identity helps us make otherwise difficult choices by offloading willpower. Our choices become what we do because of who we are.

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CURATED BY

caleb_e

Never stop learning. Never stop educating yourself. When you stop learning, you stop growing & maturing!

Read this if you're struggling to break bad habits.

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