Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to build positive relationships with colleagues and superiors
How to navigate office politics without compromising your values
How to handle conflicts and difficult situations in the workplace
The shallow bonds of positivity
Seeking out people who draw out the positive side only can make you feel alone in your moments of vulnerability.
The relationship becomes a performance of happiness and creates a wedge between you.
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Ask questions to develop your interlocutor's story
A question as simple as "How did you feel?" can help them feel that you share in their experience.
Empathize with them instead of offering positive cliche's. For instance, say "That sounds rough. Tell me what happened," instead of "You'll get past it."
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The signs of misplaced positivity
Be aware of how your friends react to your sunny attitude. If it makes them perk up, you are doing good.
However, if your encouragement makes them withdraw, your positivity might be misplaced.
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A relentless focus on positivity is ineffective
When someone is going through a hard time, insisting they stay strong is ineffective.
Research suggests positivity often has the opposite effect: It makes them feel bad about feeling bad on top of the original problem. It also increases the risk of depressive symptoms late...
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Don't just assume someone needs encouragement
Even if you are well intentioned, it's best to consider this question: Are they asking for encouragement or do they just need to vent?
Often, they just need someone to listen to them without reaching a solution.
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