Learn more about communication with this collection
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Summarizing
It means describing the world the way your counterpart sees it in your words.
An accurate summary makes your counterpart say “that’s right” instead of “you’re right.” “That’s right” means your counterpart feels heard AND understood.
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Genuineness
We tend to trust people whose emotions are authentic, whose actions are in sync with their words.
Genuineness comes when you care about your counterpart and want the outcome to benefit everyone involved.
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Brevity
Excessive communication ends conversations before they begin.
Fewer words create a deeper impact. They let your counterpart absorb your words and think over them. And silence is also an important part of brevity.
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Building Mutual Ground
Constructive conversations are held on mutual ground, where the speaker uses analogies relevant to the listener to explain how things work from a broader perspective.
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A constructive conversation
It transfers ideas from one mind to another and removes all obstacles from the way. Such a conversation feels as relaxing as a Sunday afternoon in your pajamas.
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"Conversational competence is the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach. Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills…… Is there any 21st-century skill more importa...
EDUCATOR PAUL BARNWELL
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Labeling Emotions
You don’t have to feel your counterpart’s emotions to understand them better. You can label them. It means validating and acknowledging them.
The most effective labels of emotions start with phrases like:
- It seems like… you feel ...
- It sounds like… you feel ...
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Listening
Listening is not hearing to respond. It’s hearing to understand. Effective listening helps you understand the other’s perspective and underlying feelings. It helps you hear what’s not said.
The ideal balance is to listen 60 percent and speak 40 percent of the time.
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
The Three Components of Active Listening
- Paraphrase: Consists of repeating at the speakers a summary of what they say, so they feel understood.
- Inquire: Obtain all the information that is relevant to the resolution of the issue.
- Acknowledge: Once the issue is made clear, communicate to your coun...
7 Essential Crisis Negotiation Skills Of a NYPD Negotiator
- Communication: Opening communication avenues to your counterpart signals you are ready to listen and builds rapport between you.
- Patience: Allowing your counterpart to air concerns and not jumping to conclusions or rushing towards a resolution also builds rapport. ...
Choose your words wisely
Next time you write an article bear in mind that you must be as accurate as possible. Therefore, choose words that can be understood by everybody at anytime, in the same way.
And do not forget: people cannot know what you know, so why taking the risk ...
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