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Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

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How to handle conflicts

How to identify and regulate emotions

How to develop self-awareness

Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

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SUSAN DAVID

Mentally create distance by imagining going above or far away from the thought you are having.

SUSAN DAVID

210

3.25K reads

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Behavioral contagion

Behavioral contagion

The ultimate social influence, it’s what causes us to pursue certain behaviors merely because we’re close to someone doing the same. 

This can be physical proximity or psychological relatedness through the media, for example.

187

3.07K reads

Show up to your emotions, even the bad ones

 Forced optimism can’t be sustained, which means it’s only a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

That’s because even negative emotions can have positive consequences, as long as you face them directly and draw the right conclusions. So don’t smile when you don’t feel...

251

3.66K reads

Set want-to goals, not have-to ones

  • Have-to goals are goals set for you by others in the form of pressure, for example, your doctor telling you you must lose weight.
  • Want-to goals are those you set out of conviction and after careful reflection of you...

255

3.22K reads

Your values will lead the way

Values are what helps you make the small, conscious decisions that add up to a life well-lived.

To help you identify your values, each day habitually ask yourself, “As I look back at today, what did I do that was actually worth my time?”

285

3.19K reads

Emotional agility

Emotional agility

It means being aware and accepting of all your emotions, even learning from the most difficult ones.

It also means getting beyond conditioned or preprogrammed cognitive and emotional responses to live in the moment with a clear reading of present circumsta...

258

3.84K reads

SUSAN DAVID

“The most effective way to transform your life, therefore, is not by quitting your job and moving to an ashram, but, to paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt, by doing what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

SUSAN DAVID

259

3.95K reads

SUSAN DAVID

“The ultimate goal of emotional agility is to keep a sense of challenge and growth alive and well throughout your life.”

SUSAN DAVID

199

4.41K reads

SUSAN DAVID

“Courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking.”

SUSAN DAVID

251

4.75K reads

SUSAN DAVID

"Emotionally agile people are dynamic… able to tolerate high levels of stress and to endure setbacks… to act according to their most cherished values and pursue big, long-term goals."

SUSAN DAVID

210

5.72K reads

Bottling and brooding

Bottling and brooding

  • Bottlers ignore, push aside, and avoid—sometimes getting repaid with unexpected outbursts.
  • Brooders complain, wearing out their friends, spouses, or themselves as they rehearse what might have been or what will be—but never moving on.

240

3.52K reads

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Shift Your Perspective

Shift Your Perspective

Sometimes looking at things in the long term can help you to realize that you may be placing too great an emphasis on something. Shift your perspective by imagining that you are panning out and looking at your problems from a great distance.

Creating Psychological Distance

Creating Psychological Distance

In the 16th century, the Spanish priest and theologian Ignatius of Loyola suggested three ways you can achieve more psychological distance from a difficult decision:

  • by letting go of your preferred option momentarily, to consider all options objectively (lat...

Taking an outside perspective

Taking an outside perspective

We should work to distance ourselves from our own problems by adopting a fly-on-the-wall perspective and act as our own advisors.

Another distancing technique is to pretend that our decision is someone else's and visualize it from his or her perspective. B...

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