How we can show charm:<ul><li>We can remember small things about the other person.</li><li>Show interest in what they have been up to</li><li>Laugh at their witty comments</li><li>Sympathise with them about their sorrows</li></ul> Once you have carried out this set of techniques, you have to be highly unlucky to talk to people who show no interest in a friendship.

Use the full range of techniques for charm

Friendship cannot develop unless one side is willing to show they are ready to like when there is no evidence of being liked back. Whether or not the person likes us will depend on what we do, not on what we are by nature. They may initially look a little distracted and behave in an off-hand way, but if we keep showing them warmth and encouragement to help them overcome their self-suspicion, the barriers will eventually come down.

Friendship requires risk

Depending on how we answer whether someone likes us or not, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or make moves to withdraw to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment. We assume that the other person must settle this, and we can do nothing to shift the verdict. However, we fail to realise that we often don't know what we think of other people. What usually helps us decide what someone means to us is our sense of what we mean to them.

We want to know whether or not someone likes us

The possibility of friendship often hangs in the balance because both sides are quietly waiting for a sign of whether they are liked before they dare to show any enthusiasm.  Most of it depends on how we behave towards them. We have every opportunity to persuade them to see us in a positive light by showing them that we see them in a positive light.

See people in a positive light

Strategies to meet new people and reconnect with old friends

books

Books

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

communication

Communication

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

How To Make Friends As An Adult

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RQW2sV Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2JYouWR 2DAODLd FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2JXaFrX “One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2T7u1yP Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Download our App: https://www.theschooloflife.com/app-2/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Nick Hilditch https://nickhilditch.com/

videos

Videos

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them.
Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F
For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RQW2sV
Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2JYouWR
2DAODLd

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2JXaFrX

“One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.”


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2T7u1yP

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLself

You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 
Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB 


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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Nick Hilditch
https://nickhilditch.com/

We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

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