How to Stop Worrying Whether or Not They Like You - Deepstash
How to Stop Worrying Whether or Not They Like You

How to Stop Worrying Whether or Not They Like You

Curated from: The School of Life

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We want to know whether or not someone likes us

We want to know whether or not someone likes us

Depending on how we answer whether someone likes us or not, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or make moves to withdraw to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.

We assume that the other person must settle this, and we can do nothing to shift the verdict. However, we fail to realise that we often don't know what we think of other people. What usually helps us decide what someone means to us is our sense of what we mean to them. 

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See people in a positive light

The possibility of friendship often hangs in the balance because both sides are quietly waiting for a sign of whether they are liked before they dare to show any enthusiasm. 

Most of it depends on how we behave towards them. We have every opportunity to persuade them to see us in a positive light by showing them that we see them in a positive light.

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Use the full range of techniques for charm

Use the full range of techniques for charm

How we can show charm:

  • We can remember small things about the other person.
  • Show interest in what they have been up to
  • Laugh at their witty comments
  • Sympathise with them about their sorrows

Once you have carried out this set of techniques, you have to be highly unlucky to talk to people who show no interest in a friendship.

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Friendship requires risk

Friendship cannot develop unless one side is willing to show they are ready to like when there is no evidence of being liked back.

Whether or not the person likes us will depend on what we do, not on what we are by nature. They may initially look a little distracted and behave in an off-hand way, but if we keep showing them warmth and encouragement to help them overcome their self-suspicion, the barriers will eventually come down.

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IDEAS CURATED BY

johnnevans

Surveyor for land/geomatics

Johnny Evans's ideas are part of this journey:

How To Make Friends As An Adult

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