Putting yourself in someone’s shoes is a great remedy for judgmental behaviour. It is quite common to feel a sense of superiority when looking from the outside: “If that was me, I would have made a better decision.” Or, “I would never have allowed this project to fall behind.” It may be that faced with the same circumstances, you would have done exactly what you are judging someone else for doing.
If you put yourself in that person’s situation and experience what they experienced, you may reevaluate your approach.
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During this stage of change, people are ignorant of the problem, claiming their behaviour is not a problem. You may feel resigned to your current state or think you have no control over your behaviour.
Strategies involve asking yourself some questions:
If you are not sure if you will cause offense, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people you are talking to. Ask yourself if you are saying what they would realistically expect you to say and if you are treating them fairly.
If you feel you take offense too qu...
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