Learn more about communication with this collection
How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
How to overcome social anxiety
Avoid causing offense
If you are not sure if you will cause offense, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people you are talking to. Ask yourself if you are saying what they would realistically expect you to say and if you are treating them fairly.
If you feel you take offense too quickly, consider what the offending person may not know about you. Rather than being angry about a comment, remember that they may have a different experience and worldview.
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Taking offense
Most of us have felt offended at a remark. However, we have probably also experienced the shock of finding out that others were offended by our comments, even if we had no intention of hurting them.
We take offense at explicitly rude language directed at us. We also take offense a...
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Three types of expectations
Our expectations are mostly formed in the context of our relationships with others. When they are breached, we tend to feel offended.
- Foreseeability expectations. They drive us to expect others to predict the potentially negative impact of their word...
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Taking offense outside personal relationships
We often take offense outside our personal relationships—for example, a comment on Facebook that ridicules or questions something we find important or of value.
We use our values and beliefs to make judgements. Our belief in specific values may be an important part of our identity and expl...
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Have the courage to face the odds
So what if the dog bites? I was just saying not to expect only positive outcomes; consider the possibility that things may turn against you. So what? Do good even if that happens.
Comment With Humanity
We won't change our mind about something important because someone wrote a scathing comment. Instead, we may feel hurt and angry.
If you want someone to change their view, you usually need to share your perspective in a way that is not charged with negative emotion...
Changing Perspective
If you want to avoid offending someone, you can start by seeing the problem with the other person's point of view and finding out the root cause of the problem, understanding that there may be:
- Many things you don't know about the other person.
- Many things they don...
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