Overcoming inner conflicts
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
You make messiness and procrastination part of your identity when you don't want to do something you have to do and use the excuse that it is just "who you are."
For example, you want to clean up after yourself, but you also don’t want to clean up, and then think, "This is me. Yes, I’m a lazy, procrastinating mess.”
What do you value? Look outside of the limited confines of other people's narratives about you. You might not be an introvert or a slacker. Maybe you're someone who wants to live out loud and avoid the little tasks that make up a life. Don't look at your past failures to answer the question. What do you want to become?
Some people do the least to get just enough benefit. They can work hard, but only for a short amount of time. They always procrastinate with everything from cleaning to their job.
Doing the bare minimum at the last minute isn't lazy. It is a choice.
Don't use other people's wrong observations as your own personal guide. “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!”
Figure out who you are without falling back on everyone else's idea of who you are supposed to be.
You'll dislike the hard work at first because you'll tell yourself you dislike hard work. What you're feeling is not dislike. It's fear. Fear of failure. You're afraid to disappoint.
Clear your future of bad messages and dumb stories. You're not a sloth. You're ready to move forward. What happens next is entirely your choice.
List everything you think you are afraid of and reexamine it. You have to dare to see that these things you think you are, aren't actually that profound or rooted in anything you care about.
As long as you're conflicted about your preferences and the ways you've chosen to identify yourself, you have a problem.
It could be that you don't want to disappoint yourself and clearing the lowest hurdles possible. You are choosing a lifestyle of avoidance and low expectations.
We think once we have a fulfilling job, we'll be happy, or once we have a loving partner or children, we'll never feel dissatisfied again.
Yet, when we have all these things, we still feel negative and sad.
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