Ask Polly: 'Why Am I So Lazy?'

As long as you're conflicted about your preferences and the ways you've chosen to identify yourself, you have a problem.

It could be that you don't want to disappoint yourself and clearing the lowest hurdles possible. You are choosing a lifestyle of avoidance and low expectations.

Don't use other people's wrong observations as your own personal guide. “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!”

Figure out who you are without falling back on everyone else's idea of who you are supposed to be.

• You're afraid of investing your full self in anything, only to be disappointed. 
• You're afraid to show your heart.
• You're afraid to change your habits.
• You're afraid to be locked in by an over-demanding schedule.

List everything you think you are afraid of and reexamine it. You have to dare to see that these things you think you are, aren't actually that profound or rooted in anything you care about.

What do you value? Look outside of the limited confines of other people's narratives about you. You might not be an introvert or a slacker. Maybe you're someone who wants to live out loud and avoid the little tasks that make up a life. Don't look at your past failures to answer the question. What do you want to become?

• Dig deep to find out your fears and face them
• Experiment with schedules
• Try on different behaviors
• Get very organized
• Try vigorous exercise.
• Try leaving the house more
• Try writing your feeling down
• Notice what makes you feel anxious
• Notice your feelings
• Be honest.

You'll dislike the hard work at first because you'll tell yourself you dislike hard work. What you're feeling is not dislike. It's fear. Fear of failure. You're afraid to disappoint.

Clear your future of bad messages and dumb stories. You're not a sloth. You're ready to move forward. What happens next is entirely your choice.