Teaching is a skill we should put into practice daily. The subject we must patiently become experts and give lessons in is called "ourselves": what we like, what we fear, what we're hopeful about, what we want from the world. It is understandable when we should fail in our teaching duties because we never had to bother with all that in the early years.

The fundamental importance of teaching

We may assume that others must know what we want without telling them. We presume our lover must understand what we're upset about, that our colleagues must intuitively know what we want to be done.   Then we assume that if they don't, it must be a sign that they deliberately refuse or that they're wicked. So we justify our sulk, where we punish people for having committed offences while refusing to reveal the offences to them.

Destructive thoughts

As babies, we could get people to do things for us without needing to say anything.  Adults would correctly surmise that we crave some milk or that the sun is shining in our eyes, or that we're ready for a snooze.  While this is highly gratifying and important in infancy, it can be dangerous if we keep these expectations for the rest of our lives. It can breed the idea that anyone who claims to know us should be able to determine our deepest aspirations and wishes without us needing to say much.

Assuming others know what we mean or want

There is a widespread tendency to assume that others must know what we mean and want without us having actually told them clearly. We assume that if they don’t, then it must be a sign that they are being wicked or deliberately obtuse. The truth is we have forgotten the fundamental importance of teaching. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/3HpVdSa For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xWeb0F Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/37S5QAm Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3ETcJO1 “One of the finest things about being a baby is that our minds can be read by others. Without us needing to say anything, people around us will have a guess at determining what we intend — and, typically, they’ll get it right. They’ll correctly surmise that we are craving some milk or that the sun is shining in our eyes, that it’s time for a snooze or that we want to jiggle the keys again…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja https://www.deancarensyta.com/about Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

communication

Communication

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Love & Relationships

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Videos

There is a widespread tendency to assume that others must know what we mean and want without us having actually told them clearly.  We assume that if they don’t, then it must be a sign that they are being wicked or deliberately obtuse.  The truth is we have forgotten the fundamental importance of teaching.
Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/3HpVdSa
For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xWeb0F
Our website has therapy, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/37S5QAm

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: 
https://bit.ly/3ETcJO1

“One of the finest things about being a baby is that our minds can be read by others. Without us needing to say anything, people around us will have a guess at determining what we intend — and, typically, they’ll get it right. They’ll correctly surmise that we are craving some milk or that the sun is shining in our eyes, that it’s time for a snooze or that we want to jiggle the keys again…”

MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLself


SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/  
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife   
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ 


CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Deanca Rensyta Mihardja
https://www.deancarensyta.com/about
 
Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions
https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

We have thousands of articles about emotional life for you on our website: www.theschooloflife.com

We offer online psychotherapy: www.theschooloflife.com/therapy

We publish one film a week, on Wednesdays at 14.00hrs GMT.

Assuming others know what we mean or want

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