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Dreaded Family Time

Dreaded Family Time

During the holiday season, many people are uncomfortable to spend time with their families due to a history of personal fights or disagreements.

15 % of Americans say that having a family dinner stresses them out because of the resulting arguments.

@paxtonwee50

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Family Stress

The deep wounds and scars that run in the family make people prone to various health conditions due to stress.

Chronic conditions like headaches and strokes are diagnosed due to a family's emotional climate.

From Pain to Love

There are a few ways in which can move on from pain and stress, towards acceptance and love:

  • Remember there is no Perfect Family
  • Reparent yourself
  • Nurture your inner child.
"The Perfect Family"

TV advertisements bombard us with happy families, with pop culture showing family dinner time as a fun and relaxed time.

In reality, this isn't always the case with everyone. 

Childhood has for most people been traumatic or disappointing. A tough upbringing is not something to resent, but something that has made you stronger.

Acceptance

Our parents and families most likely won’t change, but we can change our feelings towards them.

We need to accept our family circumstances as they are. Our healing starts when we accept.

Reparenting Yourself

“Reparenting” is a process that brings in self-understanding, maturing and healing.

We have to acknowledge that our childhood traumas and unfulfilled needs were not our parents' fault as they did their best, and in most cases didn't neglect anything.

Reparenting is a way to get out the chains of the past, and understanding that our parents love us and never intentionally wanted to hurt us.

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What Is Parentfication

Parentification constitutes a form of "role reversal" in the family when a child is made to take on parental responsibilities.

They may have to, aside from taking care of themselves, be their parents’ confidantes, their siblings’ caretaker, the family mediator, etc. It is a form of boundary violation because the innocent childhood that one is entitled to is robbed away.

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The Way Therapy Works
There is growing research on how therapy actually works. Psychological communication, dialogue, and intervention can work even better than pills.
This seems even more intriguing when we see that there are contradictory methods deployed to cure the same kind of problem.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs?
  • Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
  • Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
  • Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
  • Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
  • Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?