Effective persistence should always be based on providing incremental value.
From your conversation, you may have gathered insights on something that is important to the other persons, such as family, projects, or key interests. Offer an introduction or invite them to an event of importance.
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To be effective in organizations today, you must be able to influence people. Your title alone isn’t always enough to sway others, nor do you always have a formal position.
Work on cultivating personal connections with your colleagues, and allow them to get to know you.
You don’t have to be “the greatest person in the room” or make sure “everyone is blown away by your charisma.” You just need to have good rapport with your colleagues. That way, they won’t impute negative intentions or motives to you.
Start by giving them your undivided attention in one-on-one situations. Turn your body toward the other person, freeze in place, and listen.
Research has shown that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, which helps explains why disapproval stings.
You're in this territory if you:
Reflect on how your childhood or early development may be contributing to your current approval-seeking behavior. In many cases, a tendency to seek approval at work stems from something in your past.
For example, were you taught to respect authority growing up? If so, you may feel uncomfortable expressing disagreement in work contexts.
If you choose to use strategies for conscientiously flaking, try to do it rarely.
If you have to do it often, it’s probably because you’re saying yes to too many things and
This approach is fine, as long as it's true. It’s always good to give a reason why you’re bailing, especially when that reason is truthful and specific. Also, deliver your excuse over the phone or in person, so there’s less room for it to get lost in translation.
For example, “I’m not feeling up for it tonight” may not sound ok in your head, but it’s definitely more effective than “something came up.”
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