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How to be persistent at work without being obnoxious
Valuing time
No one is interested in an elaborate saga. Instead, ask a short, clear question on a subject in which the other person has expertise. They'll often be glad to help.
Follow up on an agreed time. If they tell you they’ll be busy until the fall, then don’t send them another message on July 31st. Wait until autumn starts and then send a polite note.
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Being assertive
It is good then, to know how to be assertive without being obnoxious.
Offering value
Effective persistence should always be based on providing incremental value.
From your conversation, you may have gathered insights on something that is important to the other persons, such as family, projects, or key interests. Offer an introduction or invite them to an event of importance.
Reaching out
- Consider reaching out to someone with different 'touches', such as a phone call, email, written letter, or an appropriate gift.
- Pace your follow-ups. Every two weeks is a good starting place, and if they don't respond, try a monthly follow-up.
- Give them an 'out' if they need one.
- Keep correspondence light and ongoing, instead of only reaching out when you need help.
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Influence at work
To be effective in organizations today, you must be able to influence people. Your title alone isn’t always enough to sway others, nor do you always have a formal position.
Having infl...
Build connections
Work on cultivating personal connections with your colleagues, and allow them to get to know you.
You don’t have to be “the greatest person in the room” or make sure “everyone is blown away by your charisma.” You just need to have good rapport with your colleagues. That way, they won’t impute negative intentions or motives to you.
Listen before you try to persuade
Start by giving them your undivided attention in one-on-one situations. Turn your body toward the other person, freeze in place, and listen.
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Being rejected
Research has shown that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, which helps explains why disapproval stings.
Approval-seeking territory
You're in this territory if you:
- Change or downplay your point of view to appease your boss or agree with the rest of the team in meetings.
- Compliment colleagues’ work, so they’ll like you.
- Always say yes to requests for your time, even if it means compromising your professional boundaries.
- Fail to speak up if you’ve been treated unfairly by a co-worker or boss.
- Become upset or insulted when someone disagrees with you or heavily edits your work.
Behind Your Need for Approval
Reflect on how your childhood or early development may be contributing to your current approval-seeking behavior. In many cases, a tendency to seek approval at work stems from something in your past.
For example, were you taught to respect authority growing up? If so, you may feel uncomfortable expressing disagreement in work contexts.
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Create the conditions to write
- Make the time for writing. We all have those absent-minded moments in our day when we're not doing anything. If we use that time to write, we can actually get a lot done...
There's no one "right" way to write
Some people plan ahead their and outline their novels, others just jump in a wing it.Experiment, start with something and see what works for you.
Try to show up for your characters. It's not important how you do it, as long as you do it.
Find your people
When you feel a bit stuck, and walking the dog or organizing the closet doesn't help, speak to a friend with a different way of thinking. Or talk to a friend who's writing a book.aaa
You don't just have to stick to friends. Reach out to other writers who can talk through any issue you're having with your book.
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