Learn more about communication with this collection
How to handle conflicts
How to identify and regulate emotions
How to develop self-awareness
Don’t let guilt get in the way
If you find yourself feeling guilty when you try to assert yourself, keep in mind that saying no to a request doesn’t mean you’re rejecting the person .
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Take time to breathe
If your heart starts racing at the mere thought of placing a boundary, take a moment to breathe deeply, especially if you feel aggression starting to take over.
“Breathing will calm the brain and the body and help ground yourself, making it easier to come back to your intentions,” Rose adds...
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Get outside help
If you’re finding it hard to practice being more assertive, consider talking things out with a qualified therapist for additional support. Underlying factors, including stress and anxiety, can make it particularly hard to as...
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Embody an assertive stance
Communication isn’t just verbal. Before going into a stressful situation or a difficult conversation, Rose recommends adopting an assertive body stance that makes you feel more confident and powerful.
What does that look like? Stand up straight, rolling your shoulders back. Maintain regular...
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Rehearse with someone you know and trust
If you have a big issue you’re trying to address, consider role-playing with a trusted friend by practicing different conversation styles. Write it down, then say what you want to say aloud.
Remember to ask for feedback about how clear you’re coming across, and how the other person might se...
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Use positive self-talk
It’s hard to practice being assertive when you’re in the moment. That’s why Rose recommends mentally pumping up yourself with positive self-talk .
It might sound corny, but if you’re about to have a conversation where y...
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Assess your communication style
The first step toward becoming more assertive is taking inventory of how you voice your thoughts and feelings. Do you use a passive or aggressive communication style?
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Believe in your worth
Without a healthy and balanced sense of self-worth, you’ll likely keep accepting less from others, or end up giving more than you receive.
“If you don’t believe in yourself, it’ll be hard for someone else to believe in you or give you want you want,” Rose says.
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Set actionable boundaries
If putting down boundaries feels aggressive or uncomfortable for you, consider this scenario: Your boss is constantly piling work on your desk without checking in on whether you can take more projects.
An aggressive response would be blowing up at your boss in a meeting or demanding that so...
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Start small
If all of this sounds a bit daunting, consider starting with some small exercises to help you practice being more assertive in low-risk situations.
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Plan your response ahead of time
Find yourself automatically saying yes to things without thinking about it? If you tend to do this, Phelan recommends having some go-to phrases when you’re faced with a request or invitation you aren’t that into.
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CURATED FROM
CURATED BY
Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger and improve coping skills. Recognize and learn assertive behavior and communication. Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view.
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You need to learn when to say both “yes” and “no.”
Say “yes” to new experiences and opportunities. This doesn’t mean agreeing to every request anyone makes of you, but saying yes to things you find valuable, even when they intimidate you.
Saying “no” is as important as saying yes. Saying no is the only way to keep enough room in your life f...
Solve productivity guilt
Step back and evaluate the day-to-day tasks which are the most important to you.
- If you’re feeling guilty about putting off an unimportant task, then cut that task out or outsource it to someone else.
- If you’re feeling guilty about putting off a really important ta...
Moving on from the work guilt
- Recognize when you're feeling guilty and afraid that you didn't do enough. Take note of the feeling and slowly let the feeling go, with no judgments.
- Let yourself pause and breathe. Be kind to yourself.
- Remind yourself that you're allowed to do other things aside from work...
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