You Have to Know when To Stop

The cliche goes that therapists nod their heads wisely and say: “And how did that make you feel?” They do say this sometimes; and in fact, when no one has ever asked you this question before, it’s extremely powerful when they do, repeatedly.

This repetition starts to have an effect: it mak...

Once this truth is established, it leads to more interesting conversations. 

Understanding that you not flawed – or, more accurately, that we all are, so get over it – and that you must dictate what shape your life takes gives you the freedom to think about the choices you could make in fut...

We survive (in the broadest sense) our childhoods by figuring out how to fit into our families, our roles, our small world; we learn about relationships from our parents. We then carry these ways of being into our adult lives where, in many cases, they are no longer useful, or relevant.

• A therapist is part detective, part archaeologist, scratching at the surface, finding something of potential interest and digging a little deeper.
• These quieter, less emotional sessions are where the deep excavation takes place.
• They work as a team, trying to piece things tog...

• The release of talking, of being listened to, is an emotional experience.
• Many sessions, particularly in these early days, can be emotionally battering, tearful, and can leave anyone feeling wrung out for days.

• In 2012, therapy carried something of a stigma.
• The open conversations we have today around mental health weren't happening.
• Now, Covid has sharpened everyone's awareness of their own mental health struggles.
• Therapy can be like finding a key for a door that had been ...

This phrase is bandied around so freely in self-help articles and on fridge magnets, it has almost lost its meaning.

Your sense of freedom and responsibility comes from self-acceptance, and responsibility can also mean being positively responsive.

Silences are often when the juiciest things come out. It takes courage to sit with it.

If you fill your silence to avoid awkwardness, you’re actually avoiding something else - an intimacy, a genuine thought, an ability to feel a little exposed.