Making Cosmetic Changes To Clean The Inner Shame - Deepstash
How To Become a Better Decision-Maker

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How To Become a Better Decision-Maker

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Making Cosmetic Changes To Clean The Inner Shame

Times when we feel like we stink, and that other people can smell this, and that other people will know we stink and think less of us, that people in our lives that we love will think we are bad people because we smell. We explore the shameful feelings, and through that process we are able to find the metaphorical cheese and clean it up, to get rid of the stinky crumbs. We use lavender-scented cleaning products and a nice damp sponge and end up with a sparkling inner fridge.


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Only We Know Our Cheesy Smell Of Shame

Only We Know Our Cheesy Smell Of Shame

People around us, friends, family, and loved ones don’t smell the cheese anymore. In fact, we might do such a good job searching for the cheese, examining the cheese, talking about the cheese, we might emotionally clean the cheese smell out completely. But the truth is, the smell will always ling...


16 reads

Shame Vs Guilt

Shame Vs Guilt

Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is the feeling we get when we do something bad, something we know is wrong. It’s something we can fix by doing better next time. We can give ourselves another chance. Shame is much more diabolical. ...


23 reads

Early Shame Experiences

Early Shame Experiences

Shame starts early.

Each experience of shame is like hiding little pieces of stinky cheese deep in the consciousness of our true selves. The cheese of shame is always there, slowly rotting, and smelling worse and worse over time. The irony is, even though this shame smell i...


17 reads

The Memory Remains

The Memory Remains

But just because we’ve found the stinky cheese and cleaned it doesn’t mean we’re free of it. That smell was with us a long time, and the feelings it caused will always be with us. The goal of therapy is to become aware of these feelings and learn to accept them but not let them dictate our lives....


16 reads

How Shame Stays With Us

How Shame Stays With Us

  • Shame can be so ingrained in our lives from an early age that we don’t appreciate how powerfully it affects us in the present.
  • The “cheese” of shame is always there, slowly rotting, and smelling worse and worse over time.
  • Even after shame is addressed, the memory of its “smel...


30 reads

The Root Cause Of Mental Issues: Shame

The Root Cause Of Mental Issues: Shame

Shame lies at the heart of many of the issues that bring people to therapy. The dictionary definition of shame is “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress cau...


25 reads




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Some people simply agree to plans because they feel pressured by the subtle expectation we put on them, even unconsciously. We can help by encouraging them to think about the decision and take some time to come up with an answer.

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