Ask: Am I missing something? - Deepstash
7 Days of Inspiration

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7 Days of Inspiration

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Ask: Am I missing something?

Ask: Am I missing something?

It may be hard to pinpoint the conversational goals if the speaker does not know what they are hoping to achieve. We should consider whether the conversation seems to be productive and what we may be missing.

Taking a moment before an auto reply may help to reveal a subtler, important opportunity.

Child: “I am not going to school today. I have no friends.”

Parent: “That’s a tough feeling to have. Do you feel like talking about it?”

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Establish why you are listening

Establish why you are listening

You may listen to be efficient, avoid conflict, gain attention, support, or entertain.

In a conversation, consider what the goals of the conversation are and how best you can listen. For example, is the speaker seeking honest critique, an analytical reflection or an emotional connection?

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Be aware of who is the focus of attention

Be aware of who is the focus of attention

The way we insert ourselves into the speaker’s narrative shifts the focus of conversational attention. We may assume that interjecting our personal stories is an empathic and relationship-building move, but we should steer the conversation back to the speaker.

Colleague A: “I really nee...

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144 reads

Recognize how you usually listen

Our regular listening style may interfere with our goals. We may miss valuable opportunities to understand when using an inappropriate listening style.

For example, in a time-pressured environment, we may require task-oriented or critical listening styles to make quick dec...

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164 reads

Adapt the listening style to achieve conversational goals

You may find it difficult to adjust from your default listening style. Staying focused on the speaker and the goals will help you adapt to the situation's needs.

Patient: "I'm scared about this procedure."

Clinician: "Even though the complication rate is very low it's nor...

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136 reads

Better listening

Better listening

Few people know how to listen well. Even techniques like "active listening" can be counterproductive. 

Well-intentioned responses may not meet the speakers' needs or address their concerns. For example, if a colleague says he needs a vacation and you respond with a place you recently visite...

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205 reads

Four distinct listening styles

  • An analytical listener aims to analyze a problem from a neutral point.
  • relational listener aims to build a connection and understand the emotions underlying message.
  • critical listener aims to judge both the content of th...

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CURATED FROM

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jade_r

I have a passion for architecture. Always eager to learn new things.

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