Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to build positive relationships with colleagues and superiors
How to navigate office politics without compromising your values
How to handle conflicts and difficult situations in the workplace
We don’t do unhelpful things with the intent to harm ourselves, for the most part. We do them because the unhelpful habit is meeting some need.
But if you just stop doing the compulsive habit, you have removed your coping mechanism without finding another way to meet your need.
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When the compulsion to do the old habit happens, if you’re not aware of the urge, you’re likely to obey it without questioning it. It’s an imperative, without awareness.
The key is to develop awareness of the urge so that you can notice it and not think of it as an imperati...
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We’re usually pretty judgmental about our compulsive habits. It’s a part of ourselves that we hate or a confirmation that we’re somehow bad or inadequate.
This kind of harsh judgment is a defense mechanism meant to help us get better. Beating ourselves up only makes us crav...
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Change your environment, so that you aren’t likely to do the old habit. Ask people who live and work with you to hold you accountable.
Making it hard to do the old compulsive habit is called “Creating a Moat.” Don’t let your future self, at a moment of weakness, have a...
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When we seek to change a habit that we think is embarrassing, we usually try to do it in private, so no one can see our shame. This is a mistake.
Doing it alone is very, very hard, and it also reinforces the idea that we are doing something shameful, and that we should be doing this on our...
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