Force 2: Paying Attention

People are at their most generous, funniest, and most fascinating when talking to and about their friends.

There are six forces that help form friendships and maintain them through the years: accumulation, attention, intention, ritual, imagination, and grac...

• Friendship is flexible, and bends to fit the shape our lives need it to.
• Grace is a gift so profound that it could never be earned or deserved.
• Grace is the forgiveness that we offer each other when we fall short.
• It creates space that creates for connections-and reco...

• Rituals make keeping up with friends easier.
• The effort of coordinating hangs or phone calls is the biggest barrier to seeing friends.
• It's much easier when something is baked into your schedule, and all you have to do is show up.
• In addition to keeping groups close, ...

• Society has a place for friendships, and it's on the sidelines.
• It takes imagination not to default to this norm.
• To design your life so that friendship plays the role you really want it to.
• Quieter ways of showing your friends love can still be radical.
• The b...

• Attention only gets you so far without action.
• When the opportunity arises, you have to put yourself out there.
• It takes energy and thought, and our mental and physical resources are often spread thin.
• Showing up for our friends takes effort, yes, but it shouldn't be ...