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How Negativity Can Kill a Relationship
The “female‑demand, male‑withdrawal” is the most known conflict pattern in heterosexual couples.
This happens when women start complaining or initiate criticism and men respond by withdrawing.
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Key Ideas
Arguments and disagreements in relationships are normal, but screaming matches and every day fighting isn’t.
People who seek out conflict in their relationship for the intens...
Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.
Keeping track of the things that you do, versus the things that they do is a way to create pressure and conflict where there should only be teamwork.
Sit down together and work out a plan on things like chores or bills, and who does or pays what.
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Key Ideas
The Four Horsemen of The Relationship Apocalypse:
It means getting to know your partner really well, including his/her internal psychological world.
Ask questions, deep and personal ones. Get past“When will you be there?” or “Don’t forget to pick up milk.”
Admiration is about the story you tell yourself about your partner.
Masters see their partners as better than they really are. Disasters see their partners as worse than they really are.
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Key Ideas
A sense of humor is desirable in a relationship, as people, especially men seem more desirable if they are funny.
The humor effect is not universally the same, with short-term relationships g...
Generally, humor is a great ice-breaker and social lubricant, but if there are stressful situations in a relationship, humor actually increases the chances of a break-up or divorce.
An intimate relationship requires opening up with your partner and being vulnerable, something that may feel uncomfortable to some people. Relationship satisfaction is affected if: