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The Negative Golden Rule

Do not do unto others what you do not want to be done unto you.

It is about focusing on eliminating the negative more than encouraging the positive. Because there’s abundant evidence from multiple sources that relationships are far more strongly affected by negative things than positive things.

@jenna94

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The negativity bias

We have the tendency to give more weight in our minds to things that go wrong than to things that go right—so much so that just one negative event can hijack our minds in ways that can be detrimental to our work, relationships, health, and happiness.

  • We get upset when someone doesn't fulfill a promise. However, if they do more than promised, we're not grateful enough for it.
  • People learn more and faster from punishment and reward. If you have to pick one, negative feedback stimulates learning faster than positive feedback.

When giving feedback, it's a mistake to start by saying something good, followed by the criticism, and then wrap it up with some kind words. Most people would rather just get the bad news out of the way.

It is better to give the bad news first, then you can tell them what they're good at and let them know how they can improve.

Journalists are more eager to focus on the bad news since it affects everyone - we're all afraid of dying or being hurt.

We need to disallow ourselves to always watch mass media news. Don't wallow in the coverage of a terrible event. Although awful, they're also isolated events. In contrast, people on social media tend to share more positive stories. Curate your news feed to include more positive stories.

We can fall prey to manipulation through negativity bias. The media, politics and advertising are continually scaring us to get our attention.

People who consume the news should be aware that this is not necessarily an accurate view of the situation or even representative. They should become aware of how they're being manipulated and start using their rational brain to overcome their negativity bias.

It is good to take a moment to stop and consider the positive side of whatever happens to you. Life is really good in many ways, despite the constant predictions of doom. Go for a five-to-one ratio of good things to bad things to bring a bit of a correction on the negativity bias.

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It describes our tendency to commit to something just because we've already invested resources in it—even if it would be better to give up on it.

How to control it: Always reevaluate your processes in light of new evidence.

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Negativity bias and feedback
Receiving criticism will always have a greater impact than receiving praise.

And we remember criticism strongly but inaccurately. But although criticism is more likely to be remember incorrectly, we don’t often forget it - almost everyone remembers negative things more strongly and in more detail.

Criticism is about all the critic’s experience, not the target’s. 

It all begins with an internal reaction between what the critic sees and what it reminds him of.

The critic is really just reacting to an appearance that happened to include you, filtered through his own worldview, emotional state, and personal experience.