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How to be a good listener
How to overcome social anxiety
“Right now I’m having amnesia and Deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
-Steven Wright
12
79 reads
MORE IDEAS ON THIS
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
-Steven Wright
10
67 reads
“I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.”
-Steven Wright
10
87 reads
“When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?”
-Steven Wright
10
77 reads
“I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!”
-Steven Wright
10
71 reads
“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”
-Steven Wright
10
65 reads
“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”
-Steven Wright
10
66 reads
“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”
-Steven Wright
10
140 reads
“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.”
-Steven Wright
10
64 reads
“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'”
-Steven Wright
10
66 reads
“I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”
-Steven Wright
10
168 reads
“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
-Steven Wright
10
203 reads
“I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
-Steven Wright
10
58 reads
“Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.”
-Steven Wright
10
138 reads
“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.”
-Steven Wright
11
93 reads
“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
-Steven Wright
10
64 reads
Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and o...
10
175 reads
CURATED FROM
IDEAS CURATED BY
Steven Wright Famous Quotes and Sayings #'s 31 - 67
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That being said, I always remind my clients that whoever gives a number first puts themselves at a disadvantage. This is why I think the best answer to this questions goes a little something like this:
“I’m flexible when it comes to salary; my number one priority right now is findin...
Déjà vu, French for ‘already seen’, is a feeling of having experienced something already. A feeling of being familiar with the current scenario as if it has happened to us in the same way before. According to a study, about 60 percent of the population has exper...
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