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This Is How To Overcome Impostor Syndrome: 4 Secrets From Research - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
The Reality of Impostor Syndrome
- The impostor syndrome is like a nagging feeling that our success might be due to luck, good timing, or even a computer error.
- It makes us think we have done nothing, and that we secretly are a fraud for taking undue credit.
- The person suffering from an impostor syndrome lives in fear that soon the 'secret' about his true nature will be uncovered.
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The Impostor Syndrome
It is the feeling that you are not worthy of your designation, title, position or success.
Your accomplishments may be due to luck or effort, but you feel you lack the talent or skill for them.
The Reality of Impostor Syndrome
- The impostor syndrome is like a nagging feeling that our success might be due to luck, good timing, or even a computer error.
- It makes us think we have done nothing, and that we secretly are a fraud for taking undue credit.
- The person suffering from an impostor syndrome lives in fear that soon the 'secret' about his true nature will be uncovered.
Self-Efficacy is the Answer
The antidote to the impostor syndrome is self-efficacy, which is about learning one's own value.
Self-efficacy is described as a perceived ability to succeed at a particular task. It means having rock-solid confidence, a supercharged belief in your ability.
As Good As Others
We subconsciously give undue credit to other people who are successful around us, while we undermine our efforts.
Understand that if other people can be successful using their skills, so can you.
An Outside Opinion
Other people who can provide you with a positive opinion or praise about your good work, including your talent and skills, can wake you out of your feeling of being a fraud.
Reframe Your Situation
Reframing our personal hidden bias and negative feelings into something positive can change our outlook towards the situation.
Example: If you are moving fast, you may think you are impatient, but it can be reframed as the enthusiasm of reaching earlier.
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High-conflict people (HCP)
- Narcissistic HCPs: They may seem charming at first but think themselves to be superior. They insult, humiliate, mislead, and lack empathy while demanding respect and attention.
- Borderline HCPs: They start out friendly but can suddenly change into being extremely angry. During this rage, they may seek revenge for minor insults.
- Antisocial (or Sociopathic/Psychopathic) HCPs There extreme charm is a cover for their drive to dominate others through lying, stealing, publicly humiliating people, physically injuring them, and sometimes murdering them.
While these are disorders and these people are suffering, mental health professionals would advise you to keep your distance from them, if at all possible.
Behavior Patterns Of HCP
Everybody has bad days or weeks. To tell if someone is a High Conflict Person, we can look for four traits of behavior.
- Lots of all-or-nothing thinking: When problems arise, it is their solution or no solution. They don't compromise or listen to different points of view.
- Intense or unmanaged emotions: HCPs become very emotional about their points of view. Their responses are out of proportion to whatever is happening.
- Extreme behavior or threats: They engage in extreme negative behavior that includes physical harm, spreading lies about someone else, emotional manipulation, or obsessive contact.
- A preoccupation with blaming others: They frequently blame other people close to them or people in authority over them.
Nobody is perfect, but if someone has all four traits, they almost certainly are an HCP.
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Maximize Opportunities
Lucky people do not wait for things to happen to them. They take notice and act upon the opportunities that they find.
Listen With Your Gut
Lucky people act on their intuitions across many areas of their lives.
Intuition is when your body and brain have detected a pattern before you have deliberately considered it.
Expect Good Fortune
You are more likely to be successful if you are optimistic about your opportunities.
When you think things will work out, you are more apt to persevere. You are also open to new opportunities.
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Most of the time we don’t second guess them, and even if we do, they often end up overwhelming us.
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Misunderstanding resilience
Resilience is most times associated with being tough. But that’s not gonna get you very far with feelings. Don't try to be invulnerable. Aim for flexibility instead.
You cannot avoid or resist all pain in life. But you can learn to live with your discomfort better.
"Solving" emotions
We have trouble dealing with feelings because the usual problem-solving rules don't really apply to them.
When faced with a problem, we can always avoid it or deny it. But attempting to resist negative feelings won’t work. Any attempt at suppression only amplifies them. We must go from avoidance to acceptance.
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