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How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
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“I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.”
-Steven Wright
11
72 reads
MORE IDEAS ON THIS
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
-Steven Wright
10
67 reads
“I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.”
-Steven Wright
10
87 reads
“When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?”
-Steven Wright
10
77 reads
“I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!”
-Steven Wright
10
71 reads
“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”
-Steven Wright
10
65 reads
“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”
-Steven Wright
10
66 reads
“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”
-Steven Wright
10
140 reads
“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.”
-Steven Wright
10
64 reads
“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'”
-Steven Wright
10
66 reads
“I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”
-Steven Wright
10
168 reads
“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
-Steven Wright
10
203 reads
“I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
-Steven Wright
10
58 reads
“Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.”
-Steven Wright
10
138 reads
“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.”
-Steven Wright
11
93 reads
“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
-Steven Wright
10
64 reads
Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and o...
10
175 reads
“Right now I’m having amnesia and Deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
-Steven Wright
12
79 reads
CURATED FROM
IDEAS CURATED BY
Steven Wright Famous Quotes and Sayings #'s 31 - 67
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I know, I was struggling. But I didn’t give into it. My parents were extremely supportive during these difficult times. They made me follow a consistent routine, balancing my studies and other activities. I started taking responsibilities at home, trying new skills and hobbies li...
During the tournament, journalists kept asking Roger Federer how he was able to come back better than before, considering his late injury, age, and long absence from the circuit. His response was simple:
Roger Federer: “I worked very hard with my team. I tried to work the hardest.”
Next time you’re having a conversation, see if you catch yourself thinking about what you’re going to say next rather than focusing on what the other person is saying. You may be surprised how often it happens.
Generally, being aware of this tendency is enough to improve it. But if you’re s...
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