Create Space and Time
Intentionally creating a time and space, maybe in the evening to see and talk to your child, looking and learning, is a great way to helping your kids feel seen and heard.
Your presence is more important than your usual routine of the evening.
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If the talk between a parent and a child is forced and mechanical, then the child may dread it.
The time spent together has to be natural, honest and full of deep understanding, not some work you have to do to groom your child.
Instead of being immediately judgemental of your child's behavior, we need to participate and look with clarity. Discard all preconceived notions.
Example: If a child throws the spaghetti plate on the floor, you might be angry, but if you look at his real intention of doing so, maybe curious to see how the splatter looks on the floor, you might respond a bit differently.
While we reassure our kids telling them what they are feeling is not going to be a problem, and they shouldn't cry or worry, we are ignoring their feelings.
Acknowledging what they feel is as important as correcting their course.
Showing up for your child is easy to do. A child should be made to feel Safe, Seen, Soothed and Secure.
When we show up and give our children an opportunity to be seen, honestly and directly, then we act as a living mirror for them to see themselves.
If one adult in a child's life constantly shows up for them, they turn out better in:
Due to the lockdown, most day-care centres, workplaces and schools are now closed. This has parents grappling with kids using technology at home, consuming media all day.
A few tips that can help make the most of the screen time for kids who are now nested at home:
Perhaps you were not at the top of the class, not the employee of the month, nor are you the "10" you think your partner wants. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life. If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now.
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