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We Expect Way Too Much From Our Romantic Partners

Fulfillment of goals

The changing nature of our expectations of marriage has made more marriages fall short and disappoint us. But the fulfillment of a new set of goals is now within reach.

We can have a beautiful set of experiences with our spouse. We can have a particularly satisfying marriage, but we can’t do it if we’re not spending the time and the emotional energy to understand each other and help promote each other’s personal growth.

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How Negativity Can Kill a Relationship

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theatlantic.com

There's an elegant symmetry to traditional wedding vows: for better or for worse. But love is not symmetrical, and most of us don't realize how lopsided it can be. The worse matters far more than the better in marriage or any other relationship. That's how the brain works.

Key Ideas

The Negativity Bias

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... or the Negativity Effect is a tendency most of us have to respond more strongly to negative events and emotions than to positive ones.
Any further action that is ...

Magnified Faults

The Negativity Effect magnifies and distorts your partner's faults, whether real or imaginary.

The partner starts to wonder why isn't there any appreciation for all the good that is being done, and why the focus is only on the one bad thing.

Going Downhill

Relationships, especially long-term ones, don't get better with time but are kept intact by avoiding decline.

Married couples find contentment in other sources and remain satisfied with each other, and if not so, then the marriage breaks down.

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How to keep quarantine from ruining your marriage

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ideas.ted.com

Within hours, I was getting texts. And FB messages. And then a call from a quasi-terrified sounding former student: "Any articles or books you can suggest about how my spouse and I spend the next many weeks together in our tiny apartment without offing each other?"

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Couples In Lockdown

In lockdown(or home quarantine), relationships are being stress-tested across the globe, as couples and partners live together 24/7, and have to deal with:

New kinds of stressful situa...

Listen More

Everyone is stressed out as there are losses all around. Most of us miss life before the lockdown. It is a good idea to let those feelings come out, listen attentively to the partner, and maybe give a hug, while avoiding any ‘fix-it’ response.

Rituals

Rituals are important to maintain a positive connection. A ritual can be anything that makes you and your partner regularly turn towards each other, emotionally, physically or spiritually.

Rituals of connection form the pillars of this culture, making the bond stronger by reinforcing it.

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One Key to Being Happy When You're Single

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greatergood.berkeley.edu

Significant changes have been taking place within the institution of marriage over the last couple of decades. People are getting married later. More people are actively choosing not to get married. It is more common for people to have children without getting married. But how is this affecting our well-being?

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Single and happy

According to a study in Applied Research Quality of Life, single people tend to be happier than the married ones, as they are more socially active.

Therefore, it is these very social in...

Social capital and happiness

The so-called ‘social capital’ is perceived by the singles as a substitute for the affection that a life partner is to provide.

More than that, for individuals who have recently gone through a divorce or the loss of love of any kind, social interactions seem to have particular importance, as they become a synonym for the support that they need in order to deal with the current difficulties.

Friends and your happiness

All in all, making sure that you keep your circle close to you, especially when you are single, can make a significant difference in your quality of life, as you are going to feel happier whenever you are surrounded by your friends, relatives and so on.

So stay positive: being in a couple or choosing to stay single can result in the very same amount of happiness whatsoever.