Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
Understanding the psychological rewards of bad habits
Creating new habits to replace old ones
Developing self-discipline
A different stance towards pain
An emotionally difficult exercise to help see the inextricable link between valued living and painful experiences is the following:
- Write down some of the internal experiences you are struggling with most – painful thoughts and judgments, emotions, memories.
- Then write out some of the things that are most meaningful to you – being a parent, learning, growing, etc.
You will find if you try to push the pain away, you will drive the meaningful stuff away too. So, if you want to do the things that are important to you, you have to make room for the painful stuff.
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Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
The goal of ACT is not necessarily to reduce one's problematic thoughts and emotions. It is to help people effectively function while they are distressed and to promote more flexible and value-driven behaviors.
In other words, the primary goal is to promote 'valued living.'
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The valued path
Sometimes it is hard to engage with your struggles. That it is the crux of the work in ACT - to look at your judgments and suffering, in order to move toward that which is meaningful.
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Valued living
Valued living is going about your daily life in the service of values you find important. Engaging in these actions creates a sense of meaning and purpose.
The symptoms of psychological suffering are problematic when they are linked to behaviors that draw us away from valu...
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A value-driven agenda
We might not have any control over the pain we experience, but we exert some control over how we respond to that suffering.
Common responses to difficult emotions include avoidance, substance abuse and aggression and lead to long-term damage in our relationships, jobs and ...
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The 'assumption of healthy normality'
There is an assumption that emotional pain and suffering is a deviation from a default happy baseline. However, it's incorrect. Psychological pain is everywhere.
Research indicates that one in two adults will meet the criteria for a mental health problem at some time in their ...
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Step 3: Feel That Old Pain
We tend to avoid thinking of painful things. But if you stay with the feeling, the feeling eventually dissipates.
Allow yourself to feel what's associated with past experiences to make the pain and the behaviors it causes go away, leaving only the memories.
Daydreaming: A Pleasant Distraction
Daydreaming about potentially bright and happy future experiences can fill you up with positive emotions. Fantasizing about the positive experiences that await you fill you up with energy, and that motivates you to keep going.
Imagining a great future creates discipline
How can you live your life to the fullest?
Have you ever wondered or thought, after an year or a month or a week, where the hell did that go?
Our memory remember things in a chronological order. For eg: Event X happened just before the big Paris vacation. Event Y happened in the first summer after I learned to drive.
As each y...
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